


You Make My Riddles Hard

by Penguina



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Edward has a blog about sex riddles, Edward was in a porno, Falling In Love, Feelings, First Kiss, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Heartbreak, M/M, Masturbation, Oswald thinks Jim's cheating on him, Relationship Problems, Sex riddles, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:35:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 35,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26175073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Penguina/pseuds/Penguina
Summary: Oswald is working hard on keeping his relationship with Jim alive, but things do not look good. In the meantime, Edward is a shy young man who has a secret porn-blog , called the-riddle-fucktory, where he's trying to prove that riddles can have the effect of an aphrodisiac.Keep in mind that despite the Gobblepot in the beginning, this is a Nygmobblepot story!
Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma, Oswald Cobblepot/Jim Gordon
Comments: 201
Kudos: 200





	1. Chapter 1

"Come now, stop sulking," Jim pleaded and kissed Oswald's cheek. "You're not gonna hate it. It's gonna be fun."

"They're  _ your  _ colleagues, Jim. Why should I be here at all?" Oswald pouted. "Harvey already hates me and I know the others would be no different." 

"They're gonna love you. Besides,” Jim put his arms around Oswald’s waist and smiled at him, “even if they don't like you, it doesn't matter. _ I _ like you. A lot. So it makes no difference what  _ they  _ think." 

Jim winked playfully at him and Oswald couldn’t  _ not  _ smile back. His boyfriend was kind of irresistible. 

"That's better," Jim said approvingly. “We’re gonna have a great time. And afterwards,” he leaned in close to Oswald’s ear and whispered, “I’m taking you home and I’m gonna make love to you till dawn.” 

Oswald’s breath hitched but before he could reply, Alvarez -- one of Jim’s cop friends -- opened the door. 

“Oh, hey, guys. Welcome to the celebration!” He glanced at Oswald, noticing his flustered face, and frowned. “Is he alright?” 

Jim grinned widely and placed his hand on the small of Oswald’s back. “He’s great. Now, let us in.” 

Alvarez shrugged, leaving the door open for them, and as they walked inside Jim’s hand slipped down to discreetly squeeze Oswald’s ass. Perhaps this celebration party wasn’t going to be as bad as Oswald expected. 

~*~ 

Captain Essen's home, where the party was held, looked like one of those places one usually saw on TV. Houses like that didn't exist in real life. At least, Oswald didn't think they did. Yet he was in one right now. 

They removed their coats, leaving them on the hangers, and then Sarah Essen herself came to the hallway to greet them. They gave her the customary bottle of wine as a gift and thanked them both. She gave Jim a kiss on both cheeks and a polite smile to Oswald. 

"So good that you’re finally here, Jim. You are the star of the show, after all. We wouldn’t be celebrating tonight if it weren’t for your bravery, resourcefulness and quick thinking.” 

Oswald thought he saw Jim puff out his chest a little at the praise, but kept that observation to himself. He was definitely going to tease Jim about it later, though, when it was just the two of them. 

Captain Essen turned to Oswald next. “And this must be your significant other. So nice to finally meet you, Mr. Cobblepot. Jim's talked so much about you." 

"Oh, has he, now?" Oswald glanced quickly at his boyfriend, but still accepted the Captain's hand for a shake. "The pleasure is all mine, Captain Essen. From what I hear, you're the best boss Jim's ever had." 

Captain Essen did her best to reply both professionally and modestly, but it was clear that Oswald's words had affected her. He had stroked her ego and it was only a matter of time to make her like him. Jim had to be pleased about that. Oswald turned to Jim and saw such warm admiration in his eyes it nearly made him gasp.  _ I’m taking you home and I’m gonna make love to you till dawn.  _ Oswald blushed again at that prospect. 

"This way, please,” Captain Essen’s voice pulled him back to the present moment. “Dinner will be served shortly." 

“You have a beautiful home,” Jim noted as they walked by her side. 

"Thank you. My husband designed most of it. He has an eye for these things." 

She kept talking about some of the design choices she helped her husband with and then let Oswald and Jim mingle with the other guests. 

The moment she was gone, Oswald felt nervous again. It was one thing giving a few polite remarks to Jim’s boss, and a completely different thing to actually  _ befriend  _ Jim’s friends. He didn't feel like he belonged here with them. The Police Captain's house was full of cops and their spouses, girlfriends or boyfriends, and they all seemed to have something in common, but Oswald had to fake it. He had nothing in common with these people and it was only a matter of time before they realized it too. 

He glanced at Jim, seeking comfort and reassurance from him, but Jim was busy greeting Harvey Bullock. Damned Harvey Bullock! He despised Oswald with such passion and devotion. If only he had the same passion and devotion for his work too, the Gotham Police Department would’ve been quite different. 

Oswald swallowed and looked around, searching for someone, anyone, he could talk to. His eyes landed on another loner such as himself. A tall young man, dressed in a knitted green sweater. He stood awkwardly near the exit, his long limbs making him seem rather clumsy and inept. He wore big glasses and an even bigger smile. Oswald could not fathom what could prompt the cheerful expression on his face. He looked as out of place in the Captain’s home as Oswald felt, so why was he so happy? Grinning widely as if being here was the best thing to ever happen to him. Oswald narrowed his eyes at the strange man. He looked familiar somehow, but Oswald couldn't quite place him. Perhaps he'd seen him at the GCPD one of the times he came to meet Jim for lunch? Or maybe the man in green just had one of those faces. 

“Os?” 

Oswald’s head snapped back to Jim. “Yes?” 

“Harvey has something to show me. It's about a case. Do you mind if I leave you here for a few moments?" 

Oswald wanted to scream  _ no! Don't leave me alone here with these strangers! _ But instead he only smiled at Jim and nodded. "Of course. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. You go do your work." 

"You're the best," Jim proclaimed and kissed Oswald's cheek again before disappearing off to somewhere with Harvey. Damned Harvey. 

Oswald put all his energy into appearing confident and looked around again. He really needed to find someone to talk to and  _ soon _ . He couldn't afford to stick out like a sore thumb as the only one not socializing at an event like this. He didn't want to embarrass Jim or something. He didn’t want Jim’s friends and coworkers to think Jim’s boyfriend was  _ weird _ . 

“You were examining me earlier. I saw you.” 

Oswald jumped a little startled, not expecting someone to creep up behind him like that. He turned around to find that the person talking to him was none other but the tall man in the green sweater he had been looking at only a moment ago. That wide smile was now directed at Oswald, patiently waiting for a reply. 

"I wasn’t examining you, I was just..." He trailed off. Why invent a lie? He had nothing to feel bad about. So what if he’d been staring? He chuckled. "Honestly, you looked familiar and I was trying to figure out where I've seen you." 

The smile wavered a little. The man looked disappointed. "Oh." 

"Yeah,” Oswald nodded with an amiable smile. “Don't you hate it when that happens?" 

"That never happens to me," the man replied quickly. "But then again, I have an eidetic memory, so I don't ever forget a face." 

Oswald blinked. "Well. That must come in handy for a policeman." 

The man laughed. His big mouth looked even larger and revealed two lines of big, white teeth. "I'm no policeman," he said amused. "I work as a forensic scientist. I'm Edward. Nygma. Nice to meet you." 

Oswald arched an eyebrow. "E. Nygma?" 

"Yep," the man said with a pleased, proud smile. 

"Your parents must be very humorous people, to name you like that.” 

He meant it as a friendly remark, but instead of laughing, E. Nygma only frowned and looked away. Oswald realized he had made a faux pas. 

He cleared his throat. “Of course, I’m no detective. I was only trying to make a joke and apparently failed miserably at it.”

E. Nygma looked back at him, his deep, brown eyes so different from Jim’s blue ones. 

“I’m sorry if I said something wrong,” Oswald went on sincerely. “I promise I didn’t mean anything by it.” 

Finally, the smile was back on E. Nygma’s face. “Of course not. I know you didn’t. I’m sorry if I seemed a bit off, it’s just… Well, my parents and my name, and…” 

He trailed off, unsure of how to end the sentence. Oswald decided to help him and save him from his misery. 

"Hey, I get it!” He gestured with his hand. “My name is Oswald Cobblepot. Try growing up with  _ that  _ name." 

“People can get so uptight about other people’s names,” Edward shook his head. But the cheerfulness was back on his face now and Oswald counted that as a victory. 

"Unfortunately," he nodded in agreement. It was time to change the topic. "So forensics, eh? Where the real action is." 

He wasn’t sure if  _ work _ was the right choice for a conversation at what was supposed to be a party, but judging by the way E. Nygma’s face lit up, he made the right call. 

"Oh, definitely!" Edward nodded enthusiastically and soon he was telling Oswald about that time he found a thumb inside a corpse's mouth. "Detective Bullock wants me to run all the prints and I’m like, all of them? And he says, yes, all of them. And then I pull the thumb out of the dead man's mouth and I ask, this one too?” He snorted, amused at his own anecdote. "You should’ve seen Detective Bullock’s face!” 

"I can imagine," Oswald hummed. He was a little irritated that Harvey found his way into this conversation too. Was there no escaping that man? "Are you and Detective Bullock good friends?" 

Edward's smile faded and a shadow quickly passed over his face. "Not really," he muttered. "He likes to make fun of me. You know how people can be… And I always exasperate him for some reason. I'm not sure why, exactly. I just do." 

Oswald could relate to that. “Tell me about it!” he huffed with an eye roll. “Bullock is my boyfriend's best friend and, well, let's just say he's not my biggest admirer." 

“That must be really irritating for you.” 

Oswald nodded in confirmation. Edward then looked around curiously. 

“So you're here with your boyfriend?”

“Yes. Jim Gordon.” 

Edward looked surprised. “Oh! I thought he-- that is, umm…” 

“Yes?” 

“I just always thought Detective Gordon was single, that’s all.” 

Oswald snorted. “Is it because he gives off that lonesome cowboy vibe?” 

But Edward didn’t laugh at the joke. “I dunno. I just did. But I was wrong.” 

Something felt off and Oswald wanted to inquire more about it, but before he could, he felt Jim’s arm around his waist and a kiss to his cheek. 

“I’m back, handsome. Did you miss me?” 

Still unused to public displays of affection, Oswald blushed a little. “Of course I missed you,” he muttered quietly, unsure how to respond in front of Edward and feeling silly for it. "Are you done with your work?" 

Jim nodded and pressed his nose to Oswald’s face. "Yep. I'm all yours now." 

Was he drunk? Oswald thought he could smell alcohol on him. Perhaps he had some wine before leaving with Harvey. 

"I'll, umm, see you around, Oswald," Edward butted in with a small and awkward wave goodbye. 

Oswald was a little bugged. He kind of wanted Ed to stay a bit longer. He enjoyed spending time with him. But Jim was back, so everything was still fine. 

“Goodbye for now, Edward,” he replied and returned his attention to Jim. 

“I’m hungry. Aren’t you hungry?” 

Oswald nodded. “Yes. But seriously, what’s gotten into you?” 

Jim only shrugged and they went to take their seats at the table. 

Dinner itself was rather dull. The cops shared police stories, laughed loudly and drank a lot. They praised Jim every chance they got and toasted him with enthusiasm. They had their own inside jokes that Oswald didn’t understand, and didn’t seem all too eager to include others in the conversation. 

Oswald was bored. He had no police stories to share, he couldn’t really find an interesting topic with any of the people seated next to him, and he was getting gradually more annoyed. He regretted that he and Nygma weren’t seated next to each other. Edward was what one would call  _ odd,  _ but at least he was interesting. Oswald enjoyed their conversation earlier and he felt like they clicked well. Also perhaps if they talked a little longer, Oswald might figure out where he’d seen him before. Instead he could only steal a few glances at the other end of the table where Nygma was looking down at his plate, stirring his food with a fork. 

“Hey, riddle-man!” one of the half-drunk policemen called out and his friends laughed at the nickname. “Why are you so quiet? No riddles today? Come on! Give a toast for Gordon! Or are you too young to drink?” 

They laughed and Oswald paled as he realized who the target of their amusement was. 

“I’m not too young to drink,” Edward muttered under his breath, frowning. They kept laughing and saying vile things to him until suddenly Ed pushed his chair back and raised his glass of wine. “The less you have, the more they’re worth. What am I? Guess for me!” He looked around. No one replied. “To friends,” Edward answered his own riddle and downed the entire glass. 

Oswald watched him with his mouth agape. He had just realized why Ed seemed so familiar. He wasn’t wrong, he  _ had  _ seen him before. In a homemade porno. 

~*~ 

There was no glorious lovemaking when they returned home. Jim got called for a case, -- some new development in a murder investigation of a circus performer, -- so he only changed his clothes and rushed outside again, leaving Oswald alone. Oswald wasn’t too disappointed. He had been looking forward to their night together, but by the end of the dinner at Essen’s, he already felt so tired all he wanted was a nice, warm bath and some peace and quiet. He knew Jim wasn’t coming back any time soon so it was pointless to wait for him, but he didn’t feel like sleeping yet. So after his bath, he settled in bed with his laptop and stared at the screen. 

Should he do it? Should he check if his suspicions were correct? Edward Nygma did not seem like the kind of person to shoot porn and put it online, but Oswald could  _ swear  _ that was where he’d seen the man. It was his toast that gave it away, his voice when he asked the riddle about friendship and the theatrical way in which he gulped his wine afterwards. The  _ guess for me _ line. All that felt so familiar because Oswald had seen them before on a blog called  _ the-riddle-fucktory _ . How exactly he came across that blog he wasn’t even sure anymore, but he remembered it well because it was very unusual. The whole porno was organized like a video diary. The guy who shot it -- presumably Edward, although he called himself  _ The Riddler  _ in the movies -- claimed that this was an experiment to prove that riddles could have the effect of an aphrodisiac. The entire premise was insane and there weren’t any other people in the movie, just Nygma, looking into the camera, telling riddles in a sensual, low voice, and touching himself. Oswald had discovered the blog shortly before getting together with Jim. He kind of enjoyed the  _ sex riddles _ , but once he got himself a boyfriend he lost interest in porn altogether, so the memory of the riddle enthusiast slowly faded until tonight when he realized that he met  _ The Riddler _ . 

He wasn’t sure what he wanted to do with that knowledge now. He hesitated if he should even open that can of worms. Even if Edward Nygma  _ was  _ The Riddler from the porn videos did Oswald really want to know? Was it appropriate for him to have this information about one of his boyfriend’s coworkers? Should he tell Jim or would that make things way too awkward for Jim at work? Perhaps Oswald should just let it go. 

He was about to close the lid of his laptop when a very vivid memory popped into his head. The Riddler, looking into the camera with a smug smirk on his face as he asked his next brain teaser. 

_“I have a riddle for you,” he uttered in a silky voice. “What four letter-word begins with an_ f _and ends with a_ k _, and if you can’t get it, you can always just… use your hands?” His own hand slid down to his groin. “Think_ ** _hard_** _now.” That smirk again. “Mgh! Guess for me...” His hand sped up and he closed his eyes as he let his head fall back to reveal a great view to his gorgeous neck._

The answer to that one was  _ “fork” _ , but Oswald still remembered Edward’s sensual voice, his moans and the way his hands slid down his body when he asked that damn riddle. No, Oswald wasn't going to let this go. He needed to know! So he sucked in a sharp breath and typed  _ the-riddle-fucktory  _ in his search box. Maybe he was wrong and The Riddler was someone else entirely. Maybe the blog wasn’t even active anymore. 

The blog  _ was  _ still active and the face that greeted him from the screen was no doubt Edward Nygma’s. Oswald got his answer, but now he had a dozen more questions. 


	2. Chapter 2

“Morning, sleepyhead,” Jim greeted with a smile. 

Oswald grimaced, burying his face into the pillow. “What time is it?” 

“Almost 10 am. Did you stay up late last night?” 

Oswald only hummed in affirmation. 

Jim chuckled fondly and sat at the edge of the bed. “What were you up to?”

Now, that was a good question. Oswald wasn’t sure if he should tell Jim about Ed’s little hobby. At first he thought it would be fun and Jim and him could laugh about it, but after watching an embarrassing amount of Edward’s home videos, it felt like betraying the man’s secret if he mentioned it to Jim. So he decided to keep quiet about it instead. 

“I watched a movie and got carried away,” he shrugged and sat up. 

Jim smirked knowingly. “Uh-huh. What kind of movie?” 

“Just a regular movie, what difference does it make?” Oswald frowned and pulled his knees to his chest defensively. 

“You’re too cute,” Jim said and leaned in to kiss him on the cheek. “I won’t be mad if you had some fun on your own, Oswald. I do it all the time.” 

Oswald wasn’t sure if he felt better or worse knowing that, but at least Edward’s secret was safe. 

Jim started putting his shoes on and Oswald’s heart sank. 

“Are you going somewhere?” he asked, a little disappointed. “It’s your day off. I thought we'd spend it together.” 

“I know but I promised I’ll help Harvey with something,” Jim replied, eyes cast down to his shoes as he started tying them up. 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah. You know how he is.” 

“Mhm.” Oswald rested his head on his knees. “Will I see you today?” 

He hated how vulnerable his voice sounded, but he missed Jim. It had been a while since Jim had time for him. And not just for sex, but to hang out together, curl up and binge a show on Netflix, have dinner, that sort of thing. Jim was so busy lately, Oswald felt utterly neglected. 

“Umm, I’m not sure. I’ll try,” Jim replied. “But just in case, don’t wait up. I might be late.” 

He was going out at 10 in the morning and he might return too late for Oswald to wait for him? What was Harvey up to that he needed Jim's help the entire day?

“I understand…” Oswald mumbled. 

Jim turned around to look him in the eyes. “You do, don’t you? Understand. You’re not mad?”

Oswald forced himself to smile as he shook his head. “I fell for a cop. I knew what I was getting myself into.” 

Jim chuckled and pressed a quick kiss to the corner of Oswald’s mouth, his fingers combing through Oswald's hair gently. “See you later.”

He sprang up from the bed and headed for his coat. 

Oswald traced the ghostly memory of Jim’s kiss on his lips. “You shaved for Harvey?” 

“I shave every morning, Oswald,” Jim said as he glanced at his reflection in the mirror. 

“Right…” 

“Have fun today!” 

Oswald did not reply. Jim had already left without waiting for his response and there was no one to wish a good day to. The apartment suddenly became so deafeningly quiet Oswald felt the urge to put some music on just so he wouldn’t feel so alone in there. He flopped back down on his pillow and sighed. To take his mind off of Jim, he wondered what Edward was doing at this moment. Was he bidding goodbye to some unnamed sexual partner? Or was he a caring and tender lover who cuddled afterwards? Did he  _ really  _ ask riddles in bed or was that just something he did for his show? 

Oswald huffed in irritation. What nonsense, to wonder about such things. He was probably just upset because he was missing Jim. But he shouldn't let that spoil his day. He kicked the blankets off of himself and started getting ready. The world did not stop only because Jim Gordon was busy with his friend and had no time for his boyfriend. Nobody cared if Oswald wanted affection, so he might as well get on with his work. 

~*~ 

It only got worse from there. Jim was busy all the time, even during his days off. He left early in the mornings and didn't return home till deep into the night. He hardly called or texted and it felt a lot like he was avoiding Oswald. On the few occasions Oswald actually managed to get a hold of him, Jim seemed distracted and claimed to be too  _ “tired” _ to spend time together. He was _ “sorry” _ and  _ “grateful” _ to Oswald for _ “putting up”  _ with him, but that was about all. Despite his apologies and excuses, it didn't look like Jim was about to change things. 

Oswald tried to be understanding. Jim was quite the workaholic even before they started dating, so Oswald knew what he was getting into. But it was different now, something was off. Jim was keeping something from him, Oswald could feel it in his guts. And he was determined to get to the bottom of it eventually. 

That evening he waited for Jim again. It wasn’t until the wee hours of the night that the detective returned home, looking beat. 

“Oswald. You’re still up?” he said when he noticed Oswald was very much awake in their bed. “I thought you’d be asleep.” 

“No such luck,” Oswald replied, crossing his arms. 

Jim frowned a little, removing his coat and jacket. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, nothing. Just that it seems very convenient for you to always find me asleep when you get home.” He couldn’t keep the bitterness off of his voice, just like he couldn’t hold back the accusation. 

Jim put his hands on his hips. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know. What  _ does  _ it mean?” 

“Oswald…” 

“There it is! Right there!” Oswald exclaimed, his finger pointing at Jim. “That exasperation in your voice whenever you say my name!” 

Jim sighed. “I’m not exasperated with you, Oswald. I’m just tired.” 

Oswald's face softened. “You’re working too hard. Everybody knows that. No one would blame you if you took a vacation for a few days. Rest and spend some time with me. I can make you feel better.” He swallowed nervously, self-conscious. “Or-- do you not want that? To spend time with me, that is.”

Jim was silent. He was silent for too long and Oswald’s heart filled with dread. Was he about to lose Jim? Or had he already lost him? 

“I want to spend time with you, Oswald,” Jim finally replied. “I’ve been preoccupied lately, that’s all. I promise, it’ll be over soon and I’ll come back to you. Properly.” 

He unbuttoned his shirt and removed it, remaining only in his white tank top. It was unfair of him to do that. He was well aware of the effect that sight had on Oswald. Jim’s well-toned body in that damn white tank top was driving Oswald crazy. Those arms, those shoulders, that chest… Oswald had to look away. 

He closed his eyes to keep himself from getting too distracted and went on, “You say that now, but when the time comes you always find something else that’s more important. It’s like  _ you don’t want  _ to make time for me.”

“I do, Os. I want that.” 

Oswald felt the mattress dip and his heartbeat sped up as he felt Jim approaching. 

“I miss you too,” he muttered and buried his nose into the crook of Oswald’s neck, inhaling deeply as if trying to memorize his scent. 

Oswald shivered. “Be honest with me, Jim. Is there someone else?”

His voice was but a whisper. Uttering those words, revealing his deepest fear, was terrifying. But it was better to know the truth than to always wonder and feel uncertain and unloved. Jim met his eyes and he could probably tell how broken Oswald felt on the inside, how insecure, how lonely. He hung his head and shook it. Then he started laughing. 

Oswald frowned. "What's so funny?" 

"You!" Jim said, still laughing. "You think there's someone else? Os," He stopped laughing -- finally! -- and sounded more earnest when he spoke again, "I told you before. I'm all yours." 

That, at least, was a relief. Over the last month all kinds of thoughts came into Oswald’s head and he had to make sure none of them were true. He trusted Jim. If he said there was no one else, then there was no one else. If he seemed distracted lately, that was the pressure at work, finally getting to him. Jim had this deep sense of responsibility, he couldn’t just take a vacation and leave. But he cared about Oswald, he loved Oswald, and as long as that was true, they could get through anything. Things were going to be good again. If Jim said he would make time for them, he would.

Jim rested his head in Oswald’s lap and smiled up at him. It was that smile Oswald remembered well from the first days of their courting. The smile he loved so much, the smile that made him weak in the knees. The smile that meant Jim had  _ love  _ on his mind. 

“I thought you said you were too tired,” Oswald blushed bashfully. 

“I was,” Jim replied with a smirk and his hands became particularly curious and eager to explore. “But I felt a sudden burst of energy after I saw you.”

He pulled Oswald down for a passionate kiss, his fingers entangled in Oswald’s hair. He was a little rough, but in a good way, and Oswald surrendered to him readily. 

“I wasn’t lying when I said I missed you,” Jim muttered into his partner’s lips, pulling Oswald's hair and watching him gasp. “How about I start making it up to you right now?”

Oswald was not strong enough to refuse that offer. And even if he were, he didn't want to refuse it. 

~*~ 

Things were not alright. 

Her name was Lee Thompkins. She worked as a medical examiner at the GCPD and she had beautiful black hair. The last time Jim made love to Oswald, he couldn’t stop touching Oswald’s hair. He even asked him to turn around so that Jim could have a “better look of that gorgeous hair”. Oswald could cry! He  _ did  _ cry. Was Jim imagining Lee while fucking him? Was it just a silly crush he had on this woman or was he having an affair? She was his colleague, for crying out loud! Was Jim  _ that  _ stupid to start an office romance? It was such a cliche! 

But Jim wasn’t the type to cheat. At least, that was what Oswald always thought. Jim was noble. He was honorable. He wouldn’t hurt Oswald like that. Then again, he was working with Dr. Thompkins very often, therefore, he spent a lot of time with her. And clearly there was some attraction there. Oswald saw it himself when he became an unwilling witness to it one day. He came to the GCPD in hopes to get lunch with Jim and he found him with Lee. Jim was leaning into her personal space, looking her in the eyes as he whispered  _ something _ . There was so much intensity in their voices, even though Oswald couldn’t hear what they were saying. The moment Jim noticed him he immediately took a step away from Lee and stopped talking. He introduced Oswald as his boyfriend, but there was no joy there. Nothing like the way he used to introduce him before. They had lunch and Jim looked very nervous and irritated the entire time. Like he didn’t want Oswald to be there at all. Like he got caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to and he hated Oswald for showing up uninvited. 

There was no point denying it, Oswald was worried. He didn’t want to lose Jim, so he was willing to fight for their relationship. He tried to have a talk about it, but as soon as he brought up the topic of Lee, Jim simply refused to discuss it. Lee and he were just friends, he said, there was nothing untoward going on there. Oswald was being paranoid and his jealousy was _ “very unattractive” _ . Then Jim went to sleep, his back turned on Oswald as if he couldn’t stand the sight of him. 

The words stung, coming from Jim. But Oswald couldn’t blame him. Jim was a handsome man in the prime of his life. Oswald was… well, not as handsome, for sure. It was understandable if every now and then Jim wished he’d been with someone else instead. Someone  _ more attractive _ . Someone  _ who wasn't Oswald. _ Someone  _ like Lee Thompkins. _ An intelligent, beautiful, strong woman, not a clingy, self-conscious, ugly man with a limp and a bad temper. Oswald never had a very good image of himself in his head. It became slightly better when he started dating Jim, but after these last months of emotional torment Oswald realized all that new positivity he was so proud of came from Jim. It was built around Jim and the moment Jim stopped giving it, Oswald’s entire world crumbled, his old fears were back and the bad self-image won over. Oswald didn’t want to feel that way again. Not after he had a taste of what happiness could feel like. Now more than ever he was certain that he needed to fight for his relationship. So he conjured a plan. 

First, he needed to know if Jim was telling the truth. He had to find out whether there was something between him and Lee Thompkins. For that purpose he needed an inside man at the GCPD; someone who could keep an eye on Jim and inform Oswald if there was any cause for alarm. Ironically, the first person that came to mind for that task was Edward Nygma, aka The Riddler. 

Oswald chuckled. That would be an interesting meeting with an even more interesting discussion. But Oswald was desperate. He was even willing to use his information about Edward’s _ “unusual research” _ , if need be. If Edward refused to cooperate, Oswald had his ways to be very persuasive. 

The rest of his plan depended entirely on what Nygma would find out about Jim. 

~*~ 

“Oswald! What a surprise!” Edward grinned when he saw him with a box of cannoli in hand. “You must be looking for Detective Gordon, but he really doesn’t come here very often…” 

“Oh, that’s alright. I was hoping to run into you. That’s why I came down here, at the Forensics lab,” Oswald smiled. He had forgotten how nice it was to be near Ed. When he initially came up with this idea, he saw Edward as nothing but a pawn in his scheme. Now remembered Ed could also be a good friend. 

“Oh!” Edward chuckled at that. “Why, that’s great. I was hoping I’d see you again after that evening. But we never exchanged numbers and I felt awkward asking Detective Gordon about you…” 

Edward was blushing. Oswald took a step closer. 

_ “You play with me at night before going to sleep. You can’t get caught fiddling with me at work. You only let a select few people touch me. What am I?” _ he said, knowingly. 

It wasn’t a riddle he heard from Edward’s blog, but it was in the spirit of the ones The Riddler asked. Oswald had actually spent time googling  _ “dirty riddles” _ especially for this occasion, because he wanted to impress Ed. It turned out to be more fun than he expected. 

Edward’s eyes widened. “Are you asking me a riddle?” 

Oswald smirked. “You don’t like riddles?” 

“I  _ love  _ riddles!” Edward gasped and for a moment there Oswald thought the man would orgasm right here and now. That enthusiasm for riddles had to be unhealthy somehow. But it was rather sweet too. “Riddles are my favorite thing!” 

“I know,” Oswald smiled. Ed was quiet, unsure how to respond or why Oswald knew that about him. Oswald chuckled and tilted his head. “Your toast that evening at Captain Essen’s? It was a riddle.” 

“Oh! That’s right, yes,” Ed blurted out, looking relieved. “I wasn’t having the best time that evening, I forgot all about it.” Then he caught himself and gaped. “Oh dear! That’s not what I meant! I had a great time talking to you! It was the highlight of the night, if I may say so. But everything else about that dinner was…” 

“Not optimal, I know,” Oswald nodded, brows furrowed. He knew exactly how Ed felt. His eyes landed on the box in his hands and he remembered why he was there in the first place. “I brought cannoli. I hope you like them.”

“For me?” Edward looked even more stunned now. “Wow, thank you. No one’s really-- Thank you.” He smiled and accepted the gift, caressing it close to his chest as if it were a special treasure. “I assumed they were for your boyfriend.” 

Oswald waved his hand dismissively. “Jim is too busy these days. I don’t want to disturb him.” 

“Oh, I see.” 

Edward fell silent, gaze cast down at the cannoli, and Oswald waited in case he’d add something else about Jim. That night at Essen’s he did mention he thought Jim was single. Oswald often wondered about that and if Edward assumed so because he’d noticed Jim’s obvious attraction to Dr. Thompkins. 

“Well, I’m free for lunch,” Oswald broke the silence with an amiable smile. “So. If you want, we could grab something to eat? I don’t want to spoil your lunch with the cannoli.” 

Edward grinned enthusiastically. “That sounds great. Umm, I just need to clean up the watermelon and I’m all yours!” 

“Clean up the watermelon? Is that a euphemism for something I don’t understand or…?” 

Edward chuckled. “It's an actual watermelon. I’m distinguishing the punctures of knife wounds and I’m testing them on watermelons.” 

“Oh, but is it as fun when it’s not the real thing?” Oswald teased. 

“Ah, you mean stabbing corpses instead,” Edward replied, clueless. That would be a good alternative, but we can’t afford to waste a good corpse on that. Unfortunately.” 

He sighed and Oswald could tell he was actually sad about that missed opportunity. 

“Well, clean up your watermelons and I’ll wait for you outside,” Oswald said. 

“Will do.” Edward smiled. “Oh! It’s a phone, by the way.” 

“Hmm?” 

“The riddle you asked me. The answer is a phone. You want to exchange phone numbers.” 

Oswald smirked. “Well done! Mr. Nygma, you’re quite the expert in riddles.” 

Edward beamed at the praise and Oswald had a feeling this would be a fun lunch. 


	3. Chapter 3

Edward sipped his green slushy through a curly, green straw. 

“That must be the greenest slushy I’ve ever seen,” Oswald commented and it startled a nervous laugh out of Ed. 

“Green’s my favorite color,” he explained. 

He was also wearing a green g-string in that last video he posted a week ago. Oswald remembered it well. 

“I’m beginning to suspect that,” he said, eyes fixed on Ed as he sipped from his own slushy. 

They had somehow ended up in a nice, cozy diner, eating sandwiches, sharing a salad and drinking slushies as if they were in some kind of an alternate reality. This place did not belong in Gotham. With its warm colors, comfy seats and clean tables, it looked more like someone had pulled it from a different time period. It had this 50’s vibe, but unlike in the 50’s, it also made its customers feel… safe. That was unusual for Gotham, with it’s grimy streets, covered in blood and desperation. 

Oswald had never been in this diner before, but he enjoyed the atmosphere and the company, so he wasn’t complaining. 

“Do you come here often?” he asked. 

“Mm-mmm,” Edward shook his head, hastily swallowing the bite he had filled his mouth with. “Not really. I usually order takeout and eat lunch at work. But,” he smiled with a shrug, “I kind of always wanted to come here.” 

“Then why haven’t you?” 

Ed looked down at his food. “It didn’t feel right to come alone. It looks like the sort of place one goes to with someone special.” 

Oswald hummed. “Good thing you decided to take me, then,” he teased. “But really, I would’ve expected you to bring a date here.” 

Edward blushed. “I don’t have a date.” 

Oswald recalled some of Edward’s dirty riddles and he really wasn’t surprised that the young man was single. Despite his nerdy exterior, Edward Nygma was most likely a playboy in disguise. Oswald could not imagine him committed to just one person. He probably had dozens of willing partners to choose from. 

Oswald looked around, noticing the old couple laughing in the corner, and he smiled. How lovely it would’ve been if that were him and his beloved? 

“I would’ve brought Jim here, if...” he trailed off, then quickly laughed to mask how sad that sentence sounded, “... if he weren’t so busy all the time.” 

Joking about this was a mistake. The wound was too fresh and it made his laughter sound forced and bitter. Edward must’ve picked up on that because the look he gave Oswald was painfully compassionate. 

“Relationships can get hard sometimes,” he said and just like that Oswald was laughing again, for real this time. 

_ “You  _ know all about things  _ getting hard _ , don’t you?” he snorted. 

Edward blinked in confusion and Oswald cursed himself internally for the misstep. He heard the words _“get_ _hard”_ coming from Edward’s mouth and the silly remark just slipped out of him. But he wasn’t supposed to tease Ed like that. Edward had no idea Oswald knew about his _after-hours activities_ and there was no need for Oswald to reveal that he watched Ed’s dirty riddle porn blog. That remained good blackmail material in case Edward proved to be difficult. Yet Oswald really hoped it wouldn’t get to that because he liked Ed. 

He had to smooth things over, and soon. 

“I mean, you chose to stay single, therefore, you must know that relationships are not easy.” 

“I guess,” Edward shrugged. 

“Which reminds me,” Oswald wiped his hands on a napkin and looked Ed in the eyes. “You mentioned once that you thought Jim was single. Why was that? You never said.” 

Edward was visibly uncomfortable with the topic and Oswald wondered why that was. He smiled to assuage his unease. “You can tell me, Edward. I won’t be mad.” 

_ “I won’t be mad if you had some fun on your own, Oswald. I do it all the time.”  _

Oswald winced. Was Jim  _ “having fun on his own”  _ and thinking about Lee? How often had Jim touched himself while thinking about her? How often had he climaxed with Lee’s name on his lips? And did he act on those desires or were they only in his head? 

Edward frowned at him. “Are you alright? You look pale.” 

Oswald snapped out of his tormenting thoughts and focused on Edward’s face. The poor man looked very concerned. 

“I just have a lot on my mind,” Oswald muttered. 

Edward nodded sympathetically. “I understand. Anything I can help you with?” 

Oswald’s eyes widened a little. Could it really be this easy? Edward offering his help just like that? 

“Actually… you can help me,” Oswald said, leaning in a little to bring his face closer to Edward’s. 

“Oh!” Edward wiped his own hands and mouth and smirked a little as he leaned in as well. “Goodie!” 

Oswald arched an eyebrow.  _ Goodie?  _ Was this the same man who shoved a dildo up his ass while asking  _ What’s long and hard, and if you eat it, it fills your mouth?  _ The answer was cucumber, the joke being that Ed’s dildo was green like a cucumber. But that was beside the point. Edward seemed rather different in person, but perhaps that was his day job persona. By day one way, by night another. Oswald was the last person to judge him for that. 

“You know I love Jim very much, don’t you?” 

Edward swallowed. “I guess. I mean, I’ve seen you together a few times. You seemed… in love.” 

“That’s because we are. But the thing is, I worry about him. In his line of work, it’s not easy to stay on the right track.” 

Edward’s eyes widened. “You’re worried he might be crooked?” 

“No! Not that, no. I meant, a different kind of straying.” What was a more implicit way to say  _ cheating _ ? “I worry he might get  _ distracted _ or to  _ struggle with self control.  _ The long working hours can cloud his judgement. Perhaps you could keep an eye on him for me?” 

Edward was quiet. “You want me to spy on Detective Gordon?” 

His tone did not sound very enthusiastic. Oswald chuckled nervously. “Not  _ spy _ , per se. That is not the best word for it.” That was the  _ exact  _ word for it. “No, what I have in mind is to  _ observe _ and  _ take notes _ .” 

“And bring those notes and observations to you,” Edward added without amusement. 

Oswald swallowed. “Well…, yes.” 

The proverbial cat was out of the bag. Edward sat back in his seat, putting more distance between Oswald and himself, and furrowed his brows. He seemed disappointed, somehow. He looked away and Oswald wasn’t sure if he should disturb him or let him process this and wait for him to speak first. He decided to go with the latter. 

After a long pause, Edward finally turned back to meet Oswald’s eyes. “Be honest with me,” he said seriously, “was this the only reason you came to me today?” 

Oswald had to lie. He could still get what he wanted as long as he lied! 

“Yes,” he heard himself utter instead. Damn it! Damn Edward’s deep, brown, puppy eyes! It was impossible to look at him and consciously deceive him! “I’m sorry. But that’s the truth. I came to you because I thought you could help me. I don’t really know anyone else at the GCPD who would agree to do this for me. And I certainly don’t trust anyone else there. So I came to you.” 

Edward was still silent. 

“That…,” Oswald hesitated. He could proceed with the truth or go with the blackmail. He looked at Ed and chose the truth. “That doesn’t change the fact that I enjoy spending time with you. Because I do. Immensely. As I enjoyed our conversation back at Essen’s. Truth be told, Edward, you were the highlight of my night too.” 

Edward’s face slowly mellowed and from disappointment it morphed into something more gentle. 

“I was hoping it wasn’t just me who felt that way,” he said with a soft smile. “I just thought we really clicked then.” 

“We did!” 

“I was hoping we could be friends.” 

“We could,” Oswald agreed and he truly meant it. 

Edward grinned. “What the heck! I’ll do it!” 

Oswald smiled too. “You would?” 

“Yes,” Edward nodded. “And I assume what you’re truly concerned about is Dr. Lee Thompkins?” 

Oswald’s smile froze on his face. How did Ed know about that? Was Jim  _ that  _ obvious at work? Has Edward seen something? 

Ed continued, “It’s okay, I understand. Jealousy can be a very strong motivator.” 

“Why do you think I should be concerned about Lee Thompkins?” Oswald asked evenly. 

“She’s the reason I thought Detective Gordon was single,” Edward explained. “I knew they weren’t a couple, but they seemed so close, I was under the impression he was courting her. So when you asked me to  _ keep an eye on Detective Gordon, _ I put two and two together.” 

Oswald looked down at his hands, a little embarrassed. “Yes, well. It’s true. I am concerned about that.” He stole a quick glance at Edward. “You still want to do this? Even after you know the real reason I’m asking for that favor?” 

“Oh, sure,” Edward replied. “It even makes it easier when I know what to look for. Detective Gordon’s secret relationship with Dr. Thompkins, check!” 

Oswald tried to be strong but things suddenly got too real for him. It was one thing to _suspect_ something was up, and quite another to have his fears confirmed like that. Granted, Edward had no proof, his statement was backed only by a few observations he’d made before he was even supposed to investigate this. But the fact that Jim’s infatuation with that woman was strong enough to get Edward Nygma to notice already spoke volumes. It was hurtful. 

“I apologize,” Edward added, his tone a little softer now. “I didn’t think about the emotional implications this possibility has on you when I said that. I didn’t mean to be cruel.” 

Oswald nodded. “I know,” he managed to say. 

“You could always ask him, y’know,” Edward suggested after a small pause. “We could be wrong. Looks can be deceiving.” 

“I already asked him,” Oswald sighed. “He denies it.” 

“Maybe he’s telling the truth and they’re just good friends.” 

“I sure hope so, Ed!” Oswald confessed. 

~*~ 

Edward took his “mission” very seriously. He texted Oswald regularly, keeping him informed on how often he saw Jim talking to Lee. According to Ed, the two spent a lot of time whispering to one another, but there was still nothing conclusive. Edward hadn’t “caught them in the act” and couldn’t tell if they had an affair or not, only that they were very preoccupied with something. 

In the meantime, Oswald and Ed’s correspondence became more captivating each day. Jim and Lee were not their only topic. They quickly discovered a variety of things they had in common and soon started sharing inside jokes, random thoughts and anything really. With Ed Oswald could discuss concepts and ideas, theories, TV shows, movies, books, the takeout Ed tried to eat the other day but couldn’t finish because of the onions (he had explicitly told them  _ not  _ to put onions, seriously, Gotham!), that weird cloud Oswald saw the other day. They talked about everything and nothing, about big things and small, important things and random stuff. They could talk and talk, and Oswald had never been in a more elevated mood. Frankly, if it weren’t for Edward’s friendship, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to survive this ordeal with Jim having an affair. Oswald was happy to have a real friend in his life. Until recently, his only friend was Jim and his high school best friend Ivy, but they hadn’t really been in touch for a while. 

So when Jim texted him to let him know he’d work late again, Oswald wasn’t even surprised. He spent the evening chatting with Ed until it became so late Ed had to go to bed. He had work in four hours, so Oswald had to let him go, reluctantly. It was selfish to keep the poor guy up all night. 

Oswald, on the other hand, did stay up all night. Lying in bed, staring at the ceiling and checking the clock every five minutes, wondering when will he finally hear Jim’s key in the door. It turned out to be a long wait, but finally Jim was back. He didn’t switch on the light, rushing to the bathroom to take a shower before quietly walking into their bedroom and sliding under the comforter. 

“Hi, Jim,” Oswald uttered into the darkness. 

Jim visibly startled. “You’re still up? Or did I wake you?”

Oswald did not reply. “How was work?” he asked instead. 

“Work was fine. It was… fine. All done now.” 

“Stop with this bullshit, Jim. I can tell when you’re lying,” Oswald said, turning on the lamp on the nightstand. “Where were you?” 

Jim frowned. “Must we do this now?” 

“We must! You’re hurting me, Jim! I know you’re keeping something from me and I think about that  _ all the time!  _ And the conclusions I come to aren’t pretty! So tell me!” 

“Oswald, calm down, please.” Jim wrapped an arm around Oswald’s waist, pulling him closer in a familiar move -- a move that never failed before. Oswald couldn’t resist Jim nuzzling his neck and kissing him as if he needed him like air. He’d been so starved for Jim’s affection, it almost worked, he almost forgot why he was angry in the first place.

Until Jim’s hand went up to Oswald’s hair and Oswald remembered --  _ Lee Thompkins had black hair too.  _

“No, Jim, wait!” He pulled away, a pained expression on his face. “I can’t do this.” 

“I thought you missed me.” 

"You're thinking about her, Jim!” he cried out brokenly. “You think about  _ her  _ when we're fucking!” His voice was cracking, his eyes were wet with tears, all the pent up anger and sadness from the last weeks was pouring out of him, but he didn’t care. He needed to say it. “I can't stand it anymore, Jim! Either you're with me or with Lee! You can't have both!" 

“Oswald, it’s not what you think. Lee and I aren’t--” 

“Don’t lie to me!” he cut him off. “I’m not that stupid! I can feel it when you are around me, it’s in the way you look at me. You don’t love me anymore, Jim! You want  _ her!  _ And it’s  _ killing me _ . It’s killing me to even think about it. But it’s killing me more to stay silent.” 

“Lee’s only a friend. She’s helping me with something.” 

“Then what’s happening, Jim? What’s this all about?” Oswald insisted. 

"It's not Lee, okay?" Jim blurted out. He regretted it the moment the words were out, Oswald could tell by his sigh and the way his shaky fingers ran through his blonde hair. "It's not Lee," he repeated, softer, calmer. "It's Barbara. She's pregnant. And Lee’s her doctor. That’s why we’ve been spending more time together. That’s why I’ve been weird and that's why I’ve been away so often." 

The world was shattered in front of Oswald. Jim’s ex was pregnant with his baby? 

“How did this happen…?” he breathed. 

Jim shook his head. "It was a moment of weakness. I had a bit more to drink… we were catching up after a case, a murder at her club. One thing led to another and--" 

"How did one thing and another lead to her vagina?" Oswald gasped. This was even worse than a crush on Lee Thompkins. Somehow it was way worse. Jim had spent so many days convincing Oswald that he didn't love his ex anymore, especially during the first weeks of their relationship when Oswald was concerned he was merely a rebound for Jim. That he would fall into Barbara's arms after everything he told Oswald was hurtful and humiliating. 

"Os, I was gonna tell you. I just couldn’t find the right time," Jim pleaded, pulling Oswald closer again, but Oswald pushed him away. 

"Don't touch me!” Their eyes met. Oswald’s were feral. “It's over, Jim!” he hissed. “Our story is over! You and I are through!" 

"You don't mean that. We can work it out. I still love you…" 

"Well, I don't!" It wasn't true. He was still very much in love with Jim, despite the pain, despite the heartbreak. How did that work? How could he still love the person who hurt him so profoundly, who shattered his world. 

Oswald didn't want to ponder on that. He wanted nothing more but to get out of here. Out of their apartment that held so many joyful memories, now tarnished with Jim’s betrayal. 

He slid out of bed and grabbed his clothes, dressing in a hurry and ignoring Jim’s pleas to “talk about it”. It was too late to talk. Their breakup was a painful decision, truly, but a right one, and Oswald knew it. He had to leave Jim even though it hurt, in order to heal from this and move on. What good was holding onto the past when all it brought was pain? 

He slammed the door of their apartment and strode away on his way to freedom. 


	4. Chapter 4

He turned the key as quietly as possible. The familiar scent of the apartment greeted him like an old friend when he crossed the threshold. He closed the door behind him, just as quietly, and inhaled deeply. Home. It was good to be able to come home. 

He removed his coat and hung it on the hanger when suddenly he heard a noise from behind. Before he could turn around and say anything, a hard object -- most likely a frying pan -- flew into his face and knocked him out. 

Oswald found himself on the floor as the world went black. 

~*~ 

“My boy, my sweet, dear boy! Why didn’t you tell your mother you were coming. I could’ve killed you.” 

Oswald removed the ice pack from his eye, but Gertrud quickly objected and placed it back. 

“It was a spur of the moment decision, mother,” he replied, lying back down on the couch. He closed his other eye too and sighed. “I didn’t have time to call. But I needed to be here.” 

He felt her hands on his knee, caressing him gently, and he could imagine the look on her face. “What happened? Who hurt my boy?” 

The tears were burning his eyes behind his closed eyelids, struggling to get out, but he swallowed them down. He shared things with his mother, but he didn’t want to worry her. He didn’t want her to see him cry. 

“Jim and I broke up,” he said, his throat tight at the admission. It was the first time he said it out loud and it felt very raw. 

“That policeman!” Gertrud hissed. “I knew you can’t trust the police!” 

Oswald repositioned the ice pack so that he could look at his mother. “He was different from the others. I didn’t know that he’d--” his voice cracked. Damn it. 

“I’m going to talk to him. He can’t hurt my baby like that!” Gertrud said with determination. 

Oswald placed a hand on hers and brought it closer to his lips to kiss it, then placed it on his chest. “You don’t have to do that, mother. It’s fine.”

“It’s  _ not  _ fine,” she insisted. “My boy is sad. A mother can sense these things. He broke your heart, didn’t he?” 

It was sweet, the way she always understood him, the way she  _ wanted  _ to understand. They were no strangers to heartbreak and hardship, but they had each other. She had always been so very protective of him, Oswald wouldn’t be surprised if she took that frying pan of hers and smashed Jim’s head with it. But he couldn’t let her do that. Right now Oswald needed a Jim-free space. He knew his mother wanted him to talk about his feelings instead of bottling them inside and letting them fester and poison him. It was, probably, the right thing to do, but he didn’t want to discuss Jim right now. He had his heart broken in a way he never experienced before. He needed time to process that before he could reminisce about it. 

He sighed. “I admit that I am not  _ fine  _ at the moment,” he said, willing his voice to sound as steadily as possible. “But I also know that I  _ will be  _ fine. I have you. I don’t want Jim. You’re all I need. So please don’t worry.” 

He smiled at her. His heart was breaking on the inside, his eyes wanted to shed tears until they were completely dry. But his lips were stretched into a loving smile, hoping  _ that  _ would be the only thing his mother would see. The smile, not his sorrow and desolation. 

Perhaps Gertrud figured it out on her own that it was painful for him to talk about Jim right now. Perhaps he really did fool her. Whatever the case, she did not insist anymore. She smiled back at him and kissed his head and checked his bruised eye and chuckled with him when he complimented her impressive skills with a frying pan, comparing her to Rapunzel. She prepared him his favorite meal, she drew him a bath and made his bed, even though it was almost 6 am. He needed to rest, she said. She talked the entire time before letting him sleep and her voice only wavered once or twice. And he knew her heart was breaking with his. 

“I love you, mother,” he whispered and held her into his embrace. He didn’t let her go for what felt like an eternity, but she didn’t object. She was always there for a hug, always there to show affection and support him. He may have lost Jim, but a mother’s love was the purest thing of all. And Oswald was a lucky man to have that without condition. 

~*~

“You didn’t reply to my texts, I was worried,” Ed said when they met for lunch two days later. 

They were back at what they now called _ “their diner” _ , Oswald wearing sunglasses inside to cover his tired eyes and the bruise on his face. Edward didn’t ask about that. Yet. 

“I had bad news. I texted you, but you didn’t reply. I was worried you might be upset--” 

“I’m sorry,” Oswald interrupted him. “This has to end.” 

Edward paled. “But. I thought we were friends…” 

Oswald couldn’t help the fondness that filled his chest at Edward’s perturbed face. 

“No, I didn’t mean our friendship,” Oswald was quick to explain. “I meant you, spying on Gordon. It has to end.” 

“Oh,” Edward looked so relieved. He chuckled and tapped his forehead. “Of course! Silly me.” However, his smile quickly faded, replaced by a nervous, doe-eyed expression. “But just to be sure. You’re not ending our friendship. Right?” 

“Of course not! Why would I do that?” 

Ed looked down at his hands rather self-consciously, fiddling with his fingers awkwardly. “I dunno…” 

“I like our friendship, Ed. I don’t want it to end. And I hope you don’t want that either.” 

Ed shook his head. “No. I don’t want that,” he repeated. 

Oswald cleared his throat. “Anyway. I’m no longer with him. Detective Gordon and I are not a couple anymore. So I don’t care what he does or with whom. You don’t have to tell me anything about him anymore.” 

Edward blinked. “You broke up with him?” 

Oswald hummed affirmatively. 

“I see,” Edward muttered. “How are you feeling about this? I know breakups can be quite--” 

“I’m fine,” Oswald was quick to say. Then sucked in a sharp breath. “Well. Not  _ fine  _ but…,” he swallowed. “The truth is, it sucks. It sucks so much and I still fucking miss him, even though I shouldn’t. I should be furious with him! I should want him dead. Instead there are times when all I can remember are the stuff that made me love him in the first place, y’know?” 

Edward stammered. “I-- I don’t really. I haven’t-- That is. I can imagine.” 

“He slept with Barbara.” Oswald snorted. “Barbara!” 

He still hadn’t told his mother about that. He gave her no details other than the fact that his relationship had ended, and he was really grateful to her for not asking more questions. He didn’t think he was ready to talk about it, but for some reason it felt right to share with Ed. 

“Barbara is his ex, you see,” he continued. “Jim almost married her. Then they broke it off and…” Ah, the memories. Jim’s eager hands, his passionate kisses. The way he caressed Oswald as if he were the most precious person in the world to him, as if he  _ were  _ the whole world to him. Oswald snapped out of it, back to the present moment. “Jim promised I wasn’t a rebound. He said our souls were connected. We’ve been together for almost two years. And now I learn he got Barbara pregnant.” 

“Oh! Is that why--?”

Oswald nodded. “Yes. Lee is Barbara’s doctor, apparently. I was on the right track, just got the most crucial detail wrong.” 

Edward’s eyes were sad as he listened. “I’m so sorry, Oswald,” he said gently. “Detective Gordon is a bastard for doing this to you! You deserve so much better…” 

It was a surprise to see Edward like this, so infuriated and ready to fight. He usually appeared so soft and helpless. But it was nice to know he cared. He was a true friend. 

“I can’t believe I thought the detective was a good man,” Edward continued, his voice a low growl. It was more like he was talking to himself than to Oswald. “Thinking he can get away with it. He can’t  _ do that _ . I won’t let him. I’ll--” He cut himself off, looking at Oswald as if startled by his presence. “I’m sorry. I got carried away… It’s just that he’s such a… _ bad, bad _ \--” 

Oswald reached out and placed a hand on top of Edward’s. “I know. But you don’t have to worry. Jim’s in the past now. I just want to forget about him.” 

Edward nodded slowly, as if under a spell. “I understand,” he said.

Oswald let go and sat back again. He knew he looked tired, but he had no energy to force himself to cover it up. 

“Did you move out?” 

“My things are still there, but. I don’t want to see that apartment anymore. Jim and I picked it together and I-- I can’t handle it.” 

“I can help you get your stuff back,” Ed offered. 

Oswald nodded. “That would be really good. Thanks.” 

“Where are you staying now?” 

“With my mother,” Oswald smiled. “We’re really close, so it’s nice. We have a movie night almost every night.” He chuckled. “Perhaps you can join us sometime?” 

Edward’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “You mean that?” 

“Yes, why wouldn’t I?” 

“I dunno. It’s your mother and I’m… well, me. And I don’t want to intrude.”

Oswald smiled softly. “You’re a good friend, Edward. I’m sure my mother would be glad to know I have a friend like you. She’s always worried about me, but I know she’d love you.” 

A strange sort of pride illuminated Edward’s face for a moment. “Thank you. I’d love to meet her and hang out with you both.” 

“Yeah. Mother has this sixth sense about people. She warned me about Jim. She said he’s too handsome to be trusted. I didn’t listen back then, but turns out she was right.” 

“Too handsome to be trusted,” Edward repeated quietly. 

Oswald inhaled deeply and rubbed his eyes underneath the sunglasses. 

Edward leaned in. “I can see you’re still sad. I don’t expect you to magically forget about him in such a short time. But you’re not alone in this. You have people who love you and care about you. You have your mother, and you have me. So tell me. Do you need to talk about this? Or would you rather I distract you?” 

Oswald arched an eyebrow. This was curious. “Distract me,” he said. 

And so Ed did. He talked about nothing, yet it meant the world to Oswald at that moment. Somehow Ed’s  _ “nothing” _ felt like  _ “everything” _ . 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know many of you wanted Oswald to stay with Ed after the break up ;) and I was really tempted to do that, I admit it. But I don't want Oswald's attachment to Ed to come from feelings of loneliness, I don't want him to feel like he only has Ed in his life or to cling to him as an unhealthy coping mechanism after the heartbreak he's experiencing. Besides, it's always nice to see Gertrud is still around to hug her handsome boy :') 
> 
> Thank you all for reading and for the amazing comments! I hope you enjoy the rest of the story :)


	5. Chapter 5

True to his word, Edward brought Oswald’s things back from Jim’s apartment that same weekend after they talked about it. Oswald gaped in surprise when Ed texted him he was outside Gertrud’s home with three boxes of stuff and waiting to be let in. 

“Edward! I-- I didn’t think you’d actually do this so soon,” Oswald exclaimed. 

“I didn’t want to keep you waiting. Must be terribly inconvenient to be separated from your belongings for so long,” Ed said simply. 

“It was. Thank you. I really appreciate your help.” He helped Ed carry the boxes inside, closing the door behind them. 

“It’s no trouble.” 

“I mean it. If it weren’t for you, I probably would’ve just left everything there.” 

Edward frowned. “Jim Gordon stole your heart, your happiness and took up your time. I couldn’t let him keep your things too.” 

It was impossible not to notice the strong contempt in Edward’s voice as he mentioned Jim Gordon. Oswald wasn’t sure how to respond to that peculiar change, so he remained quiet. And then, in a spell, the moment was gone and Ed was the same old Ed again. 

He looked around and smiled at Oswald. “This place is really pretty. I like all the curtains.” 

“Thanks, it’s my mother, she--” 

Before Oswald could finish his sentence Gertrud strode into the room in an extravaganza of curls and silk. 

“So you are Oswald’s little friend!” she exclaimed. “How lovely! And you bring my boy his stuff from that nasty policeman.” 

“Mother…” Oswald warned but she completely ignored him. 

“He’s bad news, I always tell him, but does Oswald listen?” She shook her head. “No. Young boys, they get so swooned over a pretty face. Ha!” 

Oswald gave Ed an apologetic look, but his friend was only smiling. He didn’t seem bothered at all by Gertrud’s ramblings. 

“Looks can be so deceiving. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover, I always say,” Edward retorted and that earned him an enthusiastic nod of approval from Oswald’s mother. 

“Exactly! Handsome face does not mean a handsome soul. It’s not like my Oswald who is beautiful inside and out.” She cupped Oswald’s cheeks with both her hands and kissed him on the nose. 

“Mother…” Oswald sighed but did not protest. He glanced at Ed again and simpered at the fond expression on his friend’s face. Jim had always been a little weirded out by how close Oswald was with his mother. It was refreshing to see that Edward actually enjoyed the fact that Oswald had a loving parent like her. 

Gertrud let go of her son and turned to Edward again. “We didn’t have a proper introduction. I am Gertrud Kapelput, Oswald’s mother.” 

Every inch a lady, she offered Ed her hand and Oswald did not even bother to suppress his eye roll. 

“The pleasure is all mine, Mrs. Kapelput.” 

Edward brought the old woman’s hand close to his lips in an elegant gesture. He didn’t kiss it though, only gently touched her knuckles with his lips which earned him another nod of approval from Gertrud. Gentlemen did not smear their saliva all over a lady’s hand; they expressed respect, admiration and devotion by bowing their head, just the way Edward did. Oswald had heard his mother talk about that countless times during movie night, so he could tell Edward passed her little test. 

“Come! I have tea for you!” Gertrud announced, giving Ed a pleased smile before heading for the kitchen. 

Edward gave Oswald a wide, happy grin and followed Gertrud. “Did you know tea was so valuable in the 18th century that it was kept securely in elegant boxes with secure locks?” he said with enthusiasm as the two disappeared into the other room. “They were known as 'tea chests', although they are now generally referred to as 'tea caddies'. Such boxes often contained two or more compartments for different types of tea, or for sugar, stored in small metal containers known as 'tea canisters'.” 

“Fascinating!” Oswald heard his mother exclaim in return and he chuckled to himself. 

As always, Ed was full of fun facts which Gertrud seemed to enjoy a lot, judging by her excited exclamations. It wasn’t long before the two started behaving like a couple of good old friends and Oswald couldn’t help but marvel at how quickly Edward managed to win her over. It warms Oswald’s heart to see his mother and his best friend getting along so well. He smiled and for the first time since the breakup he felt happy. 

~*~ 

After tea, Edward offered to help Oswald unpack, so the two retreated to Oswald’s bedroom.

“So cozy. It’s different from what I imagined.” 

Oswald chuckled. “You were wondering what my bedroom looks like?” 

“Yes. No. Sort of?” Ed chuckled too. “I just think bedrooms say a lot about one’s personality.” 

“What a fascinating theory, Mr. Nygma. What does my bedroom say to you, then?” 

“That you are surprisingly sentimental and sweeter than you’d let others think.” 

Oswald’s smile faded a little. “I guess you really are a good detective…” His thoughts went back to Jim again and he couldn’t help but wonder… “Ed? When you went to collect my things… did you, umm, did you see Jim? Did he say something?” 

He wasn’t facing Edward when he asked his question, he simply couldn’t. Instead he concentrated all of his attention on pulling his clothes out from one of the boxes and putting them away into his wardrobe. It gave him something to do with his hands while dreading the reply. 

“I did, actually.” Edward’s voice sounded very precise and logical. It had a calming effect on Oswald. “It felt wrong to go there while he was gone.” 

“Yes, of course,” Oswald agreed. He swallowed. “And did he say something?” he asked again. 

It took Ed a moment to answer that and Oswald wondered if he really wanted to know. Perhaps it was better to stop inquiring and move on from everything Jim-related. 

Edward exhaled loudly. “He said he wants to talk to you. Wants a chance to explain.”

Oswald huffed. “What’s there to explain? The birds and the bees? Barbara’s pregnant. I don’t think there’s much left to explain.” 

“Oh, I agree!” Edward said in a rush. “There’s nothing left to explain, he already betrayed you.” 

There was something odd and nervous about Edward’s voice and it made Oswald curious. “Ed? What did you tell Jim, exactly?” 

Their eyes met and Ed became as white as a sheet. “I-- Oswald, I did something stupid.” 

“Not you, my friend. You’re the smartest man I know,” Oswald said kindly. 

“No, not in this case,” Edward shook his head and looked really worried. He exhaled loudly and carefully sat on the edge of Oswald’s bed. “I kinda told Detective Gordon that he’s an asshole.” 

Oswald's eyes widened like saucers. “You what?” 

“I told him he shouldn’t have treated you the way he did. I told him to not bother you ever again. I told him he’s a liar and a cheater, and that he doesn’t deserve you.” He swallowed. “I told him you’re better off without him.” 

Oswald was too stunned to come up with a response to that. It took him by surprise that Edward would defend his honor the way he did, he seemed like the least confrontational person in the world. For him to stand up to Jim like that must’ve taken a real effort. 

“I know it wasn’t my place to say those things,” Edward continued, “I was only supposed to take your stuff and leave. But seeing him there, knowing how badly he hurt you… I couldn’t stop myself.” 

“I see,” Oswald nodded thoughtfully and sat down next to Ed. 

Edward swallowed and looked at him expectantly. “Are you mad at me?” he asked sheepishly. 

“No. I’m not mad at you.” Oswald took Ed’s hand in his own and squeezed it in gratitude. “You’re rather sweet, Ed. Thank you for that. You’re a real friend. The kind I didn’t think I could ever have.” 

Edward looked like he was about to cry. He pulled his hand from Oswald’s and threw his arms around Oswald’s shoulders to hug him. 

“Thank you. Friend,” he whispered and he sounded genuinely moved.

Oswald smiled and returned the embrace. Perhaps he was wrong and Edward wasn’t some sworn playboy. Perhaps Edward was just as friendless as Oswald. They had more in common than Oswald initially assumed and that thought was rather pleasant. 

They finished up unpacking and didn’t discuss Jim anymore. Instead they laughed and joked, Edward said a few riddles, -- he couldn’t really help himself, poor thing, -- and then they rejoined Gertrud for a game of cards. The evening turned out to be quite lovely. It was also the first night Oswald fell asleep without sobbing into his pillow. 

~*~

Over the next couple of weeks Oswald buried himself into his work. The little flower shop that he and his mother managed together became his sanctuary. It was a Jim Gordon free zone where Oswald was surrounded by flowers and customers who needed his help. He could arrange the plants and take care of them for hours; he could talk to the customers about the best choice for a bouquet and share the meaning of flowers with them. Seeing their happy faces gave him a sense of purpose. It was fulfilling in a way he hadn’t quite appreciated before. 

Of course, he couldn’t completely escape Jim. The moment he stopped thinking about his ex-boyfriend, the man would start calling and sending texts again. Oswald ignored all of them for days until finally he had enough and blocked the number. The action gave him an unexpected sense of liberation, but it also made him cry for the remainder of the evening. It felt so final to cut Jim out of his life like that, to deny him access, but Oswald knew it was the right decision, even if it was painful. 

And it did hurt. Especially when Oswald saw a happy young couple, coming to his shop to buy a plant for their new apartment, or a loving elderly couple, getting a new plant for their family home. In moments like that Oswald wanted to text Jim and tell him all about them like he used to before. Sharing stories was their thing. It was something Oswald was so used to doing, he didn’t even need to think about it. Often he nearly did it again, pulling out his phone and searching for Jim’s number only to freeze at yet another realization that he couldn’t share stuff like that with Jim anymore. And that was just the thing -- breaking up with Jim was like tearing off a part of himself. Like carving out his own heart and letting himself bleed to death. 

Getting over the man he considered the love of his life was not easy. But slowly Oswald started regaining control over his own life. One step at a time, he learned to be himself again -- not the man he was with Jim, not the man Jim cheated on, just  _ Oswald _ . And the more time went by, the more confident he felt. There were still bad days, bad nights, bad weeks. But they weren’t that hopeless anymore. Jim no longer had the upper hand. It was Oswald’s hands that held the reins now. And it helped that he wasn’t alone through this. He had his mother. And he had Edward. 

~*~ 

The little bell over the door of the shop gave a cheerful little ring and Oswald looked up to greet his next customer only for his smile to fade. 

“Before you say anything, we need to talk. Please.” 

Oswald clenched his fists tightly, trying to give himself the strength to deal with this. “We have nothing to talk about, Jim. I’m sorry. But it’s over.” 

“You never heard me out. I tried to call, I texted you, but I guess you didn’t read my messages. At least let me explain.” 

Oswald bit his lips to the point of bleeding. Jim took the moment of silence as an opportunity to talk. 

“I don’t love Barbara,” he said. “I am not going back to her. She and I, we discussed this. She’s keeping the baby and she’s going to raise it with her girlfriend Tabitha. Of course, I want to be a part of my child’s life, but I’m not  _ with  _ Barbara.” 

Oswald often wondered what it would feel like to see Jim again after months of being apart. He had imagined it in all kinds of ways, but he never once thought it would go like this. 

“Really, Jim?” He snorted. “You think this changes anything? You’re not in a relationship with the mother of your child and that should somehow make it okay that you cheated on me?” 

“It wasn’t like that. It was a moment of weakness…” 

“A moment of weakness,” Oswald repeated. He had been pondering on that expression too over these last couple of months. “Why should it be so difficult to be faithful to me? Why not banging your ex is so damn hard that you need to be strong about it?” 

“You know it’s not that simple,” Jim said. “Sometimes sex is just sex. I slept with Barbara, but it didn’t mean anything!” 

“You know what?” Oswald cut him off. He had enough of this. “I would have forgiven you your  _ transgression  _ with Barbara. Damn it, I would’ve helped you with that baby! What I  _ can’t  _ forgive you is that you hid it from me for so long.  _ You lied to me, Jim!  _ You  _ knew  _ how much I loved you and you  _ still  _ lied to me! You got distant and you let me think all kinds of things. You let me suffer when all you needed to do was be truthful with me.” 

“I didn’t want to hurt you!” Jim pleaded. “I didn’t know how to tell you!”

“I understand,” Oswald said sincerely. “I truly do. But that doesn’t change anything.” 

“We can work it out,” Jim said eagerly, taking Oswald’s hands in his over the counter. 

Oswald didn’t pull away. His eyes landed on their intertwined fingers and he sighed. He didn’t feel  _ anything _ anymore. As if he were dead on the inside. Jim’s touch, once so cherished and exciting, was now numb like Death itself. 

“I’m sorry, Jim. But I don’t want that.” 

Jim paled. “You don’t mean that. You don’t want us to work this out?” 

Oswald shook his head. 

“You  _ refuse  _ to fight for us?” 

Oswald inhaled slowly and closed his eyes for a second. 

“What happened to not letting anything stand in our way?” Jim asked with passion. 

“That was for when we were standing together, Jim,” Oswald said firmly. “Standing together and heading in the same direction. That’s not the case anymore. I don’t trust you. And without trust, there can be no love.” 

Jim leaned in, his blue eyes so big Oswald nearly felt consumed by them. “Are you saying you don’t love me anymore?” 

Oswald’s heart broke at that question. Did he love Jim? Yes, definitely. But not  _ this  _ Jim. He loved a Jim from another time. He loved a Jim who loved him back, a Jim who didn’t lie, a Jim who was devoted to him. And that was not the Jim standing before him now. 

“I don’t love you anymore,” he said truthfully. “I think I stopped a while ago when the pain you caused me surpassed the tender memories of you.” 

Jim swallowed. He was silent for a short moment. Then he shook his head, finally letting go of Oswald’s hands. “You say that now because you’re still very affected by it. But I can wait. I can give you the time and space you need. Because I love you, Oswald. And one mistake I make doesn’t change that.” 

Oswald said nothing. He watched in silence as Jim left his shop and he knew deep inside, now more than ever, that things between them could never go back to the way they were. Something had snapped in him. He’d been shattered, pieces of him breaking away, gone forever. But missing pieces were more than the gaping holes they left in their place. Missing pieces also gave room for something new. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I considered making Oswald a tailor in this fic, like his father, but then finally decided on the flower shop because of Gertrud's love for white lilies. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter! As always, thank you all for reading and for your lovely comments! They inspire me to write more :)


	6. Chapter 6

“Jim Gordon was looking me kind of funny the entire day,” Edward said over the phone that night. “I think he dislikes it that we’re friends.” 

“Ignore him. He’s mad because I told him to fuck off.” 

“I’m still ecstatic about that, by the way,” Ed replied, sounding very smug. “I wish I were there to witness it first hand.”

“I think I gave you a pretty accurate account,” Oswald chuckled. 

“You did. But, you know.” 

Oswald smiled fondly. “I know.” 

“How’s your mother?” Ed asked, changing the subject. 

“She’s fine. She’s sleeping, actually.” 

“Aww, so no movie night tonight?” 

“Nope.” Oswald sighed, relaxing on his bed and looking up at the ceiling. “She refuses to watch a movie without you now.”

Edward giggled. “You’re joking.” 

“Not at all! She claims I’m boring because I don’t give any fun facts about the movies or the things that happen in the movies. Unlike dear Eddie who always knows the perfect thing to say.” 

They both laughed. 

“You ruined her for any other movie companion, Ed. I hope you’re satisfied.” 

Edward chuckled. “I wish I could say I’m sorry, but I’m actually quite pleased with myself.” 

“Oh, I’m sure of it. You look like an angel, but you’re the devil in disguise.” 

“Well, you got wise.” 

Oswald’s wandering eyes landed on the clock on the wall and he frowned. 

“What time are you going to work tomorrow, Ed?” 

“Same as always. You know that.” 

“This was my subtle way of telling you that you should be asleep. It’s late.”

Ed sighed. “You want to get rid of me already?” 

“Not at all, Ed. I’d keep you talking to me all night, if I could. But you need your sleep.” 

Ed yawned a little. “I hate it that you’re right.” 

“Tell you what. I’ll call you tomorrow and we can have lunch together, if you’re free. How about that?” 

Ed perked up again. “Sounds great! Goodnight, Oswald!”

“Goodnight, Edward.” 

Oswald kept smiling long after they hung up. He took a shower, he checked up on his mother (still asleep and not at all interested in watching anything with him), so he got ready for bed and opened his laptop. He hadn’t checked Edward’s riddle blog for some time now -- it felt kind of inappropriate after the two of them became such close friends -- but he didn’t want to feel alone tonight and watching Edward’s videos made him feel like Edward was with him somehow. So he typed in  _ the-riddle-fucktory  _ and hit enter. 

There sure was a lot to watch! One video turned into many and soon he completely lost track of time. 

_ "Riddle me this," _ Edward purred from Oswald’s screen as his hand slid down to cup his crotch.  _ “What’s most useful when it’s  _ **_long_ ** _ and  _ **_hard_ ** _?”  _ He winked into the camera and Oswald chuckled with an eye roll, already anticipating the answer to that riddle was  _ not  _ the obvious one.  _ “An education,”  _ Edward said _. “Make sure you keep your most vital organ excited and in shape. The brain  _ **_is_ ** _ the biggest erogenous zone, after all!”  _

Oswald snorted. That was _terrible_. Ed’s riddles were an absolute nightmare. They were meant to be sexy, and he always recited them so seductively, but in reality they were just embarrassing. So naive and cocky! ( _Hehe, cocky._ ) Oswald realized how lame they were, yet for some reason he couldn’t look away. He wanted to hear more, to _see_ more. Especially now that he knew how fun Ed could be in real life, what an intelligent and interesting person he truly was. They were best friends and the more they talked, the more attached to Ed Oswald felt. It was unexpected, but pleasant. 

He watched the way Ed's face twisted in pleasure as he neared his orgasm, the teasing touches; he listened to the sounds he made, the breathy little gasps. Oswald's eyes slid down to Edward's member, gracing the full screen of his laptop, and he realized his mouth was watering. Was he actually aroused by this? He couldn't be! This was Edward, for crying out loud! Edward, asking those absurd riddles and touching himself, panting and moaning loudly in ecstasy. Edward was Oswald’s friend! Always there for him to cheer him up or listen to him when he was sad. Oswald shouldn’t think of Edward in  _ that  _ way! He couldn't find Edward arousing! He simply couldn’t! 

But the erection in his trousers said otherwise. Perhaps it was the loneliness -- it's been a while since he'd had anyone. Or maybe he was just tired. But his cock was rock hard and demanded attention. 

On the screen Edward was breathing with short, quick breaths, his back arching beautifully. Oswald couldn’t take it any longer. He cupped himself through his pajama pants, giving himself some small relief with a little bit of friction. Instead of calming him down, however, the touch only further ignited his desire. 

_ "Ah! Ah! Hmg! Oh! Yessss!" _ Ed's sounds, oh God, Ed's sounds! Oswald was lucky he was listening with his headphones. It made it feel like Ed was climaxing right next to him. 

Oswald stuck his hand in his pajama bottoms and quickly took himself in hand properly. He didn't want to wait, he couldn't. Ed was already working on himself and Oswald didn't want to stay behind. His own hand slid up and down his cock in unison with Ed's movements and he could imagine them doing this together, watching one another as they touched themselves. It was filthy, Oswald never did that kind of thing! He usually didn't even care much about sex, unless it was Jim. But fuck Jim! And fuck Ed but in a very different way... Oh, he would love to fuck Ed. To fuck and to listen to him make those heavenly sounds! The little whimpers and moans would feel magical against Oswald’s lips, and the loud cry when Ed orgasmed was enough to send him over the edge. 

"Ah! Just like that! Fffffuck!" Edward kept going and Oswald was already too far gone to think straight. He sped up his hand and soon he was coming harder than he had in months. 

When he recovered from his high, he came back to his senses and the realization of what he just did nearly knocked the wind out of him. He jerked himself off to a video of his best friend pleasuring himself. That was not okay. It was definitely not okay and Oswald sincerely hoped he'd be able to look Edward in the eyes tomorrow when they met for lunch. Or things could get really awkward. 

~*~ 

“Oswald, is everything alright?” Ed asked, concerned. “You've been acting weird these last couple of days.” 

Oswald felt heat rising to his cheeks. "I'm sorry, Edward. I'm just distracted with work, I guess. We have this big wedding we’re supposed to provide flowers for."

It was not a lie. There really was a wedding. But that was not what kept Oswald so distracted. 

Ed deflated, looking kind of saddened. "Oh. Of course. Yeah, that makes sense." 

Oswald knew his friend was used to being ignored. It was what other people usually did around him. But Oswald wasn't other people. Oswald appreciated Ed and he had to make sure Ed knew that! He couldn’t hurt Edward like that. 

"Actually, I really wanted to see you today," he said, meaning it. "I must confess, Ed, spending time with you has been the highlight of my days. If it weren't for you, I'm not sure if I could even do this, any of it. You helped me pull myself together when I felt worse than ever. Thank you., truly." 

"It's nothing," Ed smiled, a little flustered but visibly touched by Oswald’s words. 

"It's not nothing," Oswald insisted. “It means more to me than I can put into words.” 

He reached out and cupped Edward's hand with his own. The touch was warm and pleasant and Oswald suddenly remembered that he'd seen Edward pleasure himself with that same hand.  _ Fuck. _ He'd been spending too much time watching those videos lately and he wasn't supposed to. 

His thumb started trailing mindless patterns on Edward’s hand, caressing it and gently stroking it as he enjoyed the feeling of Edward’s skin under the tips of his fingers. He stopped the moment he realized what he was doing. He swallowed and quickly pulled away. 

Edward looked confused and Oswald didn’t blame him. His face became even more flustered and he tried to cover it up with an awkward smile. Hopefully, Edward would think all this was because of the flower arrangements for that wedding Oswald was supposed to work on. 

~*~

That same night he opened Ed’s blog once again. He wasn't strong enough to stop. He saw a new video and of course he went for it. Like an addict, he kept deluding himself that this was the last time. Just one more video, and one more, one more… It was never the last time. 

Ed was wearing a dark green suit with a fucking question mark on his dick. Why was Oswald finding this so hot? It was probably ridiculous but it would seem the only thing Oswald could get off on these days was Edward. 

His hand was in his pants as soon as Ed removed his first item of clothing. Watching the man strip was a real treat. He moved so gracefully, revealing more and more of himself with each second until he stood completely naked before Oswald’s eyes. And they started, together, moving in unison through time and space. It felt so intimate, as if it were just the two of them, not Oswald alone, secretly watching a sex video of his best friend. 

The fact that Ed really was his best (and only) friend was supposed to be a turn off. But instead Oswald’s treacherous mind supplied him with endless memories of moments that had actually happened between him and Ed. Hugs, laughs, pats on the shoulder, their knees touching. Oswald’s brain kept replaying each of those sensations in his head as he worked his cock and watched Edward’s video. It was more than just about the dirty riddle blog, it was about Edward himself. It was about the way Edward made him feel. 

His breath suddenly caught and Oswald gasped as it hit him.  _ He was falling for Ed!  _ This wasn't just an awkward, unwanted attraction. It was the blossom of a much more tender feeling. A feeling Oswald was quite familiar with. He was fucked. He had no chance with Ed! Ed would never even look at him in  _ that  _ way. Oswald would only end up hurt again, if he as much as hinted to Ed about this. And what good was love if it was once-sided? No, there was nothing for Oswald to do. He was completely and utterly fucked. 

The thought made his cock go limp in his hand. He let go and felt a tear slide down his cheek. Why did he have to complicate everything? Things were only beginning to look up in his life and now this? 

On the screen Edward was already about to orgasm, grasping at the sheets of his bed as he was so close to spilling into his hand. Any time now he'd cry out and cum. Oswald was supposed to be there with him for that. But he couldn't. Not when his heart was breaking again. 

_ "Ah! Ah! Ah! Yes, yes, yes!"  _ the video went on in a chant. 

"What the fuck am I doing?" Oswald grunted bitterly and he was about to turn it off when suddenly...

_ " _ **_Oswald_ ** _! Yes! God, yes!  _ **_Oswald_ ** _! Fuck!  _ **_Ozzy_ ** _..."  _

Oswald gaped like a fish, his hand frozen midair, hovering over the space button. 

Did Edward just climax with Oswald's name on his lips? Oswald wasn’t entirely sure he hadn’t imagined it. It couldn't be true! It made no sense. Why would Ed do that? He quickly rewinded the video just to make sure, but there was no mistake. Edward did, in fact, scream Oswald’s name as he shot hot white streaks of semen all over his abdomen. And it sounded so beautiful too, Oswald’s name on Ed’s lips as he moaned it so loudly, so passionately. Like he had fantasized about Oswald the entire time while he touched himself. Like he  _ wanted  _ Oswald there with him. 

And just like that Oswald's cock was rock hard again. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for mentions of childhood abuse and animal cruelty. (Yep, I'm bringing Mr. Nashton into this)
> 
> Also, thank you all for the lovely comments! They inspire me to write as often as I can in order to give you more chapters!

He stared at the screen long after they were both done. As the afterglow subsided, Oswald could once again think clearly. Edward climaxed with Oswald’s name on his lips. That actually happened, Oswald didn’t just wish it really hard. It was a fact. But what did it mean? Other than the obvious answer that Edward was attracted to him, of course. But could it be more than that? Did Oswald dare hope that Ed might return his feelings? Or was this purely physical? It was possible that Edward wanted Oswald in his bed without having any emotional attachment to him. It could be just physical. 

_ “Sometimes sex is just sex,”  _ Jim’s voice sounded in Oswald’s head and he nearly flinched at the memory. 

Oswald didn’t do well with “just sex”. To him it was never “just sex”, it was always about feelings. Perhaps that was why it hurt so much when his relationship with Jim failed. If Oswald could fuck without a care, ignore his heart and think with his cock, like so many other men seemed to do, if he could swallow his tears and have fun, any kind of fun, perhaps he wouldn’t have ended up so heartbroken. But that wasn’t how Oswald was wired. He  _ did  _ care and he  _ couldn’t  _ ignore his emotions. If Edward wanted sex without feelings, Oswald wasn’t ready to give him that. So he was facing a serious impasse here. If all Ed wanted from Oswald was sex, then was it worth to broach the subject only to destroy their friendship? 

Something popped on the screen and Oswald noticed a comment under Ed’s video. A post from an anonymous viewer. Oswald clenched his fists and pursed his lips into a tight, angry line. Someone else was watching these videos, Ed’s personal moments. Someone else was watching them, lusting after Ed, jerking off to Ed. It shouldn’t be that surprising, -- the videos were made public for that particular reason, -- but somehow it had never registered in Oswald’s mind before that there were other people watching this too, that it wasn’t just him. That realization was really irritating. 

Oswald tried to push his newly discovered jealousy to the back of his head and read the comment. 

_ Anonymous: who is oswald??  _

Oswald rolled his eyes in annoyance. Didn’t Mr. Anonymous know that curiosity killed the cat? Why was he asking such personal questions? Surely Edward wouldn’t indulge that creep with an--

_ Riddler: Oh. Right. Slip of the tongue. I hope it didn’t spoil the fun for anyone NOT named Oswald here xD  _

Huh. Ed replied to comments? Why had Oswald never thought of that? He stretched his hands and prepared himself. If Mr. Anonymous could write questions, so could Oswald! First, he needed a name -- he didn’t want to be just another anonymous on Edward’s blog. He decided on  _ Penguin  _ since penguins were his favorite animals.

_ Penguin: You didn’t spoil the fun. But just out of curiosity… Who is Oswald? _

He pressed _ “comment”  _ and waited breathlessly. It took Ed considerably longer to reply, long enough for Oswald to think he would just ignore him. But then, finally… 

_ Riddler: Mr. Penguin, don’t you know that curiosity killed the cat? ;)  _

Oswald snorted. It was hilarious and ironic that Edward would say the same thing Oswald was thinking only a moment ago. 

Amused, Oswald started typing again. 

_ Penguin: I know. But it’s a risk I’m willing to take. You know, penguins are very adaptable.  _

This time Edward replied faster. 

_ Riddler: You’re so cocky, Mr. Penguin. Very well. I’ll indulge you. Oswald is my boyfriend.  _

Oswald read that message twice and each time it said the same thing --  _ Oswald is my boyfriend.  _ What was Ed up to? Were they really… Did Oswald miss something? They weren’t  _ dating _ . He would’ve  _ noticed _ if they were. They were friends. Very close friends, but only friends. Oswald was certain of it. But why did Ed say  _ that  _ then? 

His fingers hovered over the keyboard, twitching and eager to keep the conversation going, but Oswald didn’t trust himself enough to act on that desire. He was too flabbergasted right now, he’d probably say something stupid that he would later regret. 

He closed his laptop and put it away. Then quickly showered again and returned to bed. 

His phone was flickering with a notification and he saw he had a text from Ed. 

_ Hey. I couldn’t sleep, so I wondered if you’re still awake.  _

And another text, 

_ Guess not. Anyway. I remembered something and I thought I’d ask you. Do you have a favorite animal?  _

Penguins. Oswald thought they were really cute, and bonus, they were fascinatingly good at surviving all kinds of hardships. Oswald always thought that was very inspiring, but he couldn’t tell Ed  _ that _ . Not after the conversation he had with him as  _ Mr. Penguin.  _

_ I really like kittens, I guess.  _ He replied instead.  _ Why aren’t you in bed, Ed?  _

Ed’s reply came so quickly, it was like he’d been waiting for Oswald to text back. 

_ Oh, I am in bed. I’m just not sleeping ;)  _

Oswald blushed bright red. His cheeks filled with heat. In bed but not sleeping? And a winky face? Was Ed flirting or was this a normal conversation between friends? Not having much experience with friendships, Oswald felt completely lost. 

He was hesitating what to type, when his phone started ringing with a phone call from Ed. 

Oswald panicked. Was he ready to hear Edward’s voice right now? After everything that happened tonight? What if he slipped and said something he wasn’t supposed to say? What if Ed knew that Oswald knew about the blog and watched it with increased regularity? What if--

Ed stopped calling and Oswald was suddenly filled with a sense of regret. He should’ve been relieved, but instead it felt as if he had lost an opportunity by missing that phone call. So when Ed called a second time, Oswald’s heart leapt and he quickly answered. 

“... Yes, Ed?” 

“Oswald!” Ed sounded a little surprised, even though he was the one calling. “I know it’s late, but I kinda wanted to hear your voice… I hope that’s okay?” 

Oswald swallowed silently.  _ Oswald is my boyfriend.  _ Was this it? The boyfriend thing? Did best friends call each other after midnight because they wanted to hear each other’s voices? Or was that strictly romantic? 

“Oswald?” Ed asked from the other end of the line, sounding a little worried. 

“I’m here. Umm, sorry. I guess I’m still sleepy…” 

It was the first excuse he could think of, but as soon as he said it, he grimaced at his own words. What if Ed got the impression that Oswald didn’t want to talk to him? What if he hung up now to let Oswald sleep? 

“Oh! Oh, no! Did I wake you up?” Ed exclaimed. “I’m  _ so  _ sorry, Oswald! I knew you don’t usually go to bed early, so I assumed-- That is, I-- I  _ hoped… _ ” 

“You didn’t wake me, Ed. It’s okay,” Oswald said quickly. 

Ed’s sigh of relief was very audible and Oswald could tell he was smiling. 

“Good!” Ed said. “You got me really worried there for a moment.” 

Oswald decided to quickly change the subject before Ed asked him what he was doing or something equally inconvenient. Oswald didn’t want to have to lie to Ed. “So, you can’t sleep?” 

Edward hummed. “I’m just… I don’t know. Sometimes I just can’t get my brain to shut up and I can’t sleep.”

“I understand. I’ve been there too.” 

“Kittens are cute,” Ed said out of the blue and it took Oswald a second to catch up on why he brought it up. 

“Yes. Yes, they are,” he agreed. Oswald didn’t  _ not  _ like cats. They were cuddly and his mother loved them so much. She was the ultimate cat lady. “My mother loves cats too,” he added because he didn’t know what else to say. 

“What would you name your cat, if you had one?” Ed asked curiously. 

“ _ Edward _ is a nice name for a pet,” Oswald teased. 

That earned him a burst of laughter. “Oswald! You can’t name your pet after me!” 

“No?” Oswald asked, amused. 

“Let me rephrase that.  _ Please  _ don’t name your pet after me?” 

Oswald chuckled. “I’ll try not to. But it’s really tempting. What would you call your pet, if you had one?” 

“Foxy,” Ed replied. He sounded tired, sleepy, yet he wouldn’t hang up and go to bed. Such a stubborn man! 

“Interesting. And what kind of an animal would Foxy be?” 

“A rat.” 

Oswald grinned, his heart swelling with affection at every word Ed said. He was so adorable and he didn’t even know it. 

“Foxy the Rat. I love it.” 

“Yeah, I did too,” Ed mumbled. 

“What’s that?” 

“I said… I had a pet rat. 

“Oh?” Oswald settled more comfortably in his bed, snuggling into his comforter. Ed hummed and Oswald could imagine him lying next to him, eyes closed as he talked about his childhood pet, sharing stories and memories with Oswald. The mental image was so sweet, so intimate, Oswald wished to stay in it forever. “That’s unusual. Your parents didn’t mind?” 

“My parents didn’t really know about him. Not at first, anyway,” Ed said. “I found Foxy caught in a trap in the basement. He was trying to free himself, but he couldn’t. I let him out because I felt sorry for him. Then he kept coming to my room and… I started feeding him, petting him… He actually started sleeping in my bed after a while. We were inseparable.” He swallowed. “I wasn’t a very popular kid. I didn’t have friends. Foxy was my only friend and I loved him so much.” 

“How old were you then?” 

“Seven. I was seven.” 

“Very impressive. You domesticated a rat at the age of seven,” Oswald chuckled fondly. Then he added more quietly, “It’s also really sweet.” 

Ed sighed. “Well, it wasn’t that sweet when my mother found out about it and told my father. He got so angry. He said I was weird to keep a filthy animal in my bed. He said I’d probably be just as filthy when I grow up. He held Foxy in his hand and started squeezing, cutting off his air…” 

Oswald paled. He didn’t like where this story was going. 

“I cried and begged him to stop, but…” 

“Oh, Ed… I’m so sorry.” 

Ed inhaled sharply. “That was the first time he called me a fag. Because I was weak and dumb. Then he snapped Foxy’s neck in his hand and threw his small dead body at me.” 

Oswald’s eyes were filling with tears at the image of Ed, little, innocent, seven-year-old Ed, who had to go through something as devastating as that. 

“He didn’t beat me up that night, so that was a small mercy,” Ed continued. His voice sounded detached, as if he weren’t telling a horrific story of child abuse and animal cruelty. “I ran to my room with Foxy’s body and cried till dawn.” 

“I’m so sorry, Ed. He shouldn’t have done that.” Oswald felt stupid for not knowing what else to say. He wished he could change that memory, he wished he could squeeze the life out of Edward’s cruel father the way that man had done to Edward’s pet friend. But there wasn’t anything Oswald could do, really. Other than listen and be here for Ed. 

“I kept the body,” Ed said. “And then I cut it open.” 

Oswald was quiet. Listen and be there for him. 

“I’d always been curious about what bodies looked like on the inside, but that’s not why I opened Foxy up. I did it because in a way it felt like… like I’d be closer to him, if I did that. If I truly knew him, all of him, inside and out, I’d be so close to him he won’t really be gone.” Ed laughed and it sounded bitter. “Do I sound crazy?” 

Oswald shook his head. “Not at all, Eddie. You were hurt, and you lost someone you cared about. You were processing your grief.” 

Edward swallowed. “Thank you.” 

“What for?” Oswald asked, puzzled. 

“Not thinking I’m weird.”

“You’re not weird, Ed. It’s natural to want to be close to--” 

“Not just in this particular case,” Ed clarified. “Thank you for not thinking I’m weird in general. People always think I’m odd and they hate it. But you never made me feel unwanted or like a freak. You accepted me for who I am from the beginning. I feel safe with you. And I’m grateful for that. … Oswald? Are you still there? … Oswald?” 

Oswald snapped out of it and wiped away the tears that were rolling down his cheeks. “Yes! Yes, yes, I’m here. I’m sorry, I was just… I--” He couldn’t stop crying. Damn it. “I was…” 

“It’s okay. I feel the same,” Ed said simply. “It’s late. I don’t want to keep you up for too long. I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

Oswald nodded and it took him a moment to remember that Edward wasn’t really in the room and couldn’t see him. Oswald had to verbalize it. “Yes,” he croaked. “Tomorrow.” 

“Goodnight, Oswald.” 

“Goodnight, Ed…” 


	8. Chapter 8

It was impossible to look at Ed, or even think about Ed, without an image of him climaxing and crying out Oswald’s name popping up in Oswald’s head. That, in turn, made hanging out with Ed rather awkward. They definitely needed to talk about this, but Oswald wasn’t sure how to broach that particular subject. 

_ Hey, remember that porn blog you have on the side? Well, I’m a regular viewer, a fan if you will, and I couldn’t help but notice that you screamed my name during your last recorded orgasm.  _ Nope, that did not sound good at all. 

_ Hey, funny story. I was browsing stuff online the other day and I stumbled upon a riddle blog. I clicked on it because it seemed interesting and then -- surprise! -- I saw you asking riddles and jerking off! Imagine that! Ha!  _ Definitely not. 

Besides, he didn’t want to lie to Ed. If he were to tell Ed about watching those videos, he wanted to be completely honest about it. He had discovered the blog long before they met in person and Ed deserved to know it. 

No matter how he looked at it, telling Ed the truth about the riddle blog made him too nervous. Perhaps he could give hints instead? To help Ed figure it out on his own? Or maybe Ed already knew Oswald was watching and that was why he called Oswald’s name? It was a possibility, even if Oswald hated the mere thought of it. If Ed knew, why didn’t he say anything? Probably the same reason why Oswald didn’t say anything. It was awkward as hell. 

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, forgetting that he was still at work.

“My boy is so distracted today,” Gertrud pouted lovingly. “Go home, my sweet. I’ll take care of the shop.” 

Oswald didn’t really want to worry her. He took her hands in his and brought them to his lips to kiss. “I’m alright, mother. I was lost in thought.” 

“Hmm.” The corners of her lips quirked up in a knowing smile. “Thinking about Edward and your feelings for him?” 

Oswald’s jaw slacked. “Umm, what? No! I-- Edward is a friend.” 

“Mhm.” She chuckled to herself and started attending to the flowers. “A mother knows these things. I’ve seen your sweet face when you look at him or talk about him. You light up, you do. Like he gives you air.” 

“I’m not-- None of that is true, mother,” Oswald insisted, blushing furiously. 

“I approve, by the way,” she went on, ignoring his protests. “Edward is a nice boy. He’s kind and gentle. He wouldn’t hurt you on purpose. And he’s protective of you too. He doesn’t want anything bad to happen to you. He’s so fond of you, I think he may even love you.” 

“I-- I doubt that…” Oswald muttered, trailing off. 

His mother gave him a look. “Have you tried?” 

Oswald frowned. “Tried what?” 

“Wooing him? If you love him, you have to woo him.” 

As if that was so simple! Oswald rolled his eyes. “I haven’t tried to woo him, mother.” 

“Well, you should! He’s too shy to do it for you. Boys like him need a little push to get out of their shell.”

Oswald nearly snorted at that remark. Edward shy? He looked shy, no doubt about that, but Oswald knew what was hidden beneath the surface. He’d seen Ed do things Oswald never even considered possible! Things that were driving him insane at night, filling him with passion and desire. Edward was an interesting and exciting young man that Oswald loved spending time with in any capacity, but his sensuality was positively mind-blo--

“There you go being distracted again!” His mother pulled him back to reality. “I’m telling you, go home and think about it, do what you need to and fix this. Next week we have a big order to work on and you should be sharp for that.” 

He inhaled deeply. She had a point, he really was distracted. 

“Alright. I’ll go home,” he said and kissed her on the cheek. “But only to take a nap. You got it wrong about Edward and me. We’re just friends.” 

She made a face to indicate she wasn’t buying it, but Oswald really didn’t have the energy to argue with her about it. So he went home, but he did not take a nap. Instead, he kept thinking about Edward the whole time. His mother had noticed his affection. Was he that obvious? Did Edward know too? How could Oswald be so stupid to allow this to happen? After all the heartache he was supposed to be more careful. He didn’t want to have his heart stomped on again, didn’t want to hurt the way he did because of Jim. If Edward rejected him… He bit his lips. What if Edward did  _ not  _ reject him? Surely he felt  _ something  _ for Oswald, judging by that last video. Perhaps mother was right. Perhaps Oswald really did need to try and woo Ed. Maybe things would be different this time. Maybe they could be happy after all.

Oswald decided to give it a try at least, starting the next time they saw each other. He only wished he were better at flirting… But he had very little experience with things like that. He had only felt this way two times in his entire life, now being the third one.

The first time was when he was a kid. He was smitten with a boy named Adrian. They were classmates, both got bullied a lot at school, so they stuck together most of the time. Adrian was his only friend back then. With time though, their relationship changed. As they grew into teens, Oswald caught himself noticing certain things about Adrian. The way he smiled. The way he moved. The way his hands were always so warm and pleasant to touch. Then he started wondering what it would feel like to run his fingers through Adrian’s soft hair or kiss his beautiful lips. Oswald was lucky enough to have his feelings somewhat reciprocated. Adrian thought of him as a friend, but since they were both young and only beginning to explore their sexuality, Adrian was as eager to kiss and touch as Oswald was. They learned more about themselves together and for one glorious year those had been the happiest moments in Oswald’s life. Then it had turned into Oswald’s first heartbreak when Adrian had to leave Gotham. There were sweet kisses goodbye and heartfelt promises of meeting again one day. They both knew that was not very likely to happen, and so the handsome boy from Oswald’s youth faded away, becoming a bittersweet memory on a lonely night. The last time Oswald checked, Adrian died of AIDS in New York. It was a blow to learn that sad news and it hurt Oswald deeply, even though he hadn’t talked to Adrian in ages. 

The second time was with Jim. Oswald was just as smitten with Jim, but he didn’t expect anything to happen between them. Jim was  _ so  _ out of his league! But a miracle happened and one day Jim noticed him. Jim loved him. And Oswald’s infatuation with him grew into a more mature and deep kind of love. Jim built him up, or more like, Oswald built his world around Jim. That had been a mistake. Oswald lost everything and even though Jim was still alive, to Oswald he was gone forever. 

Oswald didn’t think he’d feel that warm affection for anyone after that, but then he got to know Edward better and he became deeply attached to him. It scared him to be this vulnerable again. His previous experiences with love and intimacy had made him cautious. He wasn’t as optimistic about relationships as he once was. Love seemed like a time bomb to him now. It was only a matter of time for the good part to end and be replaced with unbearable pain. If only Oswald could just tell Ed the truth about his feelings, about the blog, about everything. He wanted nothing more but to be able to open up to Ed completely and be accepted with all his faults and flaws. But he was afraid that if he did that, it would only screw up his chances altogether. There was a lot more at stake here than romance. If he messed this up, he could lose his best friend. That was a very dire prospect and a risk he was very afraid to take. 

So what could he do? Pretend nothing had changed and try to live as he had these last months? Enjoy Ed’s company while secretly pining after him? That wasn’t healthy and Oswald had promised himself not to allow that sort of behavior anymore. No. He had to be brave. 

“A man comes to a crossroads in his life, and he has to make a choice,” Oswald whispered to himself. “Does he choose safety and cowardice? Or does he opt for courage and risk everything?” He swallowed, hands shaking. “I chose courage.” 

~*~ 

Oswald swallowed nervously as he waited for Ed to open the door to his loft. The wine bottle in his hands was shaking a little. Or was it his hands that were shaking? It didn’t matter anymore because he heard Edward’s footsteps getting closer, then the turning of the key, the sliding of the door, and finally Edward’s wide smile, greeting him warmly, drawing him in with an invisible force Oswald was powerless to resist. For a moment all he could do was look up at Ed in awe, lips slightly parted as he tried to smile back. 

“Oswald! So good that you’re here! Come in, come in!” Ed all but pulled him inside as happy to see him as ever. “You brought us wine? You shouldn’t have.” 

“I didn’t want to come empty-handed,” Oswald muttered sheepishly. Ed had no idea that this dinner was not an ordinary meal shared between friends. It was a beginning and an ending, but Edward didn’t know that yet. 

“Well, aren’t you a darling,” Ed replied, taking the bottle from Oswald’s hands and examining it with curiosity. “Oh, wow! You know your wine.” 

Oswald chuckled softly. “I'm glad you approve of it." He followed Ed into the loft, as always ignoring the fact that he'd seen this place countless times on Ed's videos. "So, how was your day?” 

Edward shrugged, turning his back to Oswald to take the wine to the kitchen. “Oh, you know. Same as ever.” 

The mood had somehow shifted and Oswald cursed himself internally. He knew work was a delicate topic for his friend. Ed loved his job, but his workplace and his colleagues not so much. They often teased him and usually made him feel alone and misunderstood. 

It was a bad idea to start the evening by putting Ed in a miserable state of mind, so Oswald quickly opted to change the subject. 

“Well, it’s about to get much better now. I want to make you feel good tonight,” he announced before realizing how weird that sounded, coming from him. 

Luckily, Edward didn’t seem to mind. He only smirked a little, looking rather curious. “Oh? Interesting. What do you have in mind?” 

Oswald had  _ nothing  _ in mind. His mind had suddenly gone completely blank and he could only stare dumbly at Ed while the other man waited for him to speak. It was so embarrassing! His intention was to profess his feelings for Edward tonight, but he had practiced it so many times in his head and in so many different ways that now when he was actually supposed to do it, he couldn’t remember a word of it. 

His tense silence disconcerted Ed and he took a step closer. 

“Oswald? You’re shaking,” he noted with concern. Raising his hand, he pressed it to Oswald’s forehead to check his temperature. “Are you sure you’re not sick?” 

Oswald’s mouth went dry. He swallowed nervously and parted his lips to speak, but no sound came out for a long moment. 

“Oswald?” 

He had to say something  _ now!  _

“Perhaps you should lie down…,” Edward offered, taking Oswald’s hand to lead him to his bed and Oswald’s brain short circuited. 

_ “I come in a lot of different sizes! Sometimes, I drip a little. If you blow me, it feels really good. What am I?”  _

Edward blinked at him in wide-eyed confusion, his face stunned. Oswald wished he could just die. What was that? He wasn’t supposed to blurt  _ that  _ out the way he did! Stupid dirty riddles research! Why did he ever think it was a good idea to read those? And why did he still remember them? 

“I--I,” he stuttered. It was too late to take it back now. He had to be bold! Bracing himself, he repeated, trying to sound as confident as he could,  _ “I come in a lot of different sizes. Sometimes, I drip a little. If you blow me, it feels really good. What am I?”  _

Edward’s breath hitched. “It--umm, it’s a--” He stammered awkwardly, voice trembling. 

They were standing so close to one another, Oswald could feel the heat, radiating from Ed’s body. It was very distracting and made Oswald’s entire being vibrate in tune with Edward's. He wished he could cross the distance between them, press Ed flush against his chest and  _ feel him _ . 

“Nose!” Edward gasped suddenly, nearly startling Oswald with his exclamation. “The answer is-- the answer is my nose…” 

Before he could think better of it, Oswald stood on his tiptoes and kissed the tip of Edward’s nose.

“Correct,” he said and gave Ed a hesitant, little smile. “Riddles can be so sexy, don’t you think?” 

Edward swallowed. “They… they are,” he agreed slowly, pushing his glasses up as if processing what was happening right now and assessing the situation. “I-- umm, I even have this theory-- I might tell you about it sometime.”

Oswald nodded, already intimately familiar with the aforementioned theory. “Yes, I’d like that,” he said, spellbound. 

Edward sat down on the edge of his bed, his eyes never once shifting from Oswald. He held Oswald’s gaze, looking up at him as if he couldn’t believe he was real. He was so gorgeous! He’d  _ always _ been so gorgeous! And they clicked so well. It's been a while since anyone made Oswald feel this way. It was more than a physical attraction -- that Oswald could handle. No, this was about their very souls and the profound connection they shared. It was impossible to put that into words. So Oswald didn’t even try. Instead he touched him, caressed him. Edward had always understood him so well, Oswald desperately hoped he’d understand him now too. Without words, without explanations, only with kisses and embraces. 

Following his instincts, he carefully straddled Edward’s thighs, placing his hands on each of Edward’s shoulders to steady himself. Shaky breaths escaped through his half-parted lips as their gazes remained fixed on each other. Oswald made sure to move really slowly and give Ed a chance to stop him if he didn’t want this. But Edward did not stop him. 

“The, umm, the general idea of-- of that theory is that, erm,” he babbled as he kept looking at Oswald with that wonderstruck expression on his face, “that riddles can act as a-- as a… umm…” 

Struggling to find his words, Ed completely trailed off when Oswald's hands slid down his shoulders to run over his chest, his fingers spreading out to feel more of that fascinating part of Edward's body. It was all in his touch, in his eyes, all his affection, all his love, and Oswald hoped desperately that Edward spoke that language.  _ I love you. You mean the world to me. Please, love me back. Please don’t reject me.  _

Edward closed his eyes and sighed. “O-oh, dear…” 

Oswald leaned in closer to him, his nose nearly buried in the crook of the other man's beautiful neck, and he inhaled deeply. Edward's scent was intoxicating! Oswald's breath was ghosting over Ed’s hot skin and he could feel Ed’s heartbeat speeding up under the tips of his fingers. It was perfect! Better than anything Oswald could ever imagine because this was really happening and he couldn’t think of anything else at that moment. 

“You look flustered, Eddie,” he noted with a giddy smile. 

“It’s just that, umm… I’m not very used to…” Ed trailed off again, not very coherent about it, and Oswald was suddenly terrified that he misread things tremendously. What if Edward didn’t want him? Oswald was supposed to confess his love for him and discuss it, not  _ seduce  _ Ed! Was it too late to go back? Do things properly? Not that he  _ wanted  _ to go back… It felt too good, sitting in Edward’s lap and feeling his heat. 

“I mean, umm,” Ed muttered, tilting his head a little to give Oswald better access to his neck. “P-perhaps we could, umm, we could…” 

“Stop?” Oswald asked in a small, trembling voice. If he ruined this, if he destroyed their friendship because of his nervous lack of self-control, he’d hate himself forever! 

He pulled away a little and Ed’s eyes snapped open. “No!” He shook his head frantically. “No, that’s not what I meant. Don’t stop. Please… don’t stop…” He bit his lower lip worriedly, then quickly, as if surprising himself as well as Oswald, he surged forward. 

Their lips met and Oswald froze as he felt Ed’s mouth on his, hot and eager. It was one thing imagining this, quite another to actually experience it and Oswald was completely mesmerized. 

After a moment, Edward pulled away, panting and a little worried. “Is this not okay? I assumed you wanted us to--” 

Oswald threw his arms around him. “It’s very okay!” he said and kissed him back, properly this time.

They melted into each other, Edward pulling Oswald firmly on his lap so that their bodies would be flush against one another. Oswald nearly lost his mind when he felt the shape of Ed’s erection, forming beneath him and pressing against his backside. 

“You really want me, Ed, don’t you?” he breathed into Ed’s lips. He could cry, his emotions were all over the place. He hadn’t felt this desired in so long, and it was  _ Edward  _ he was doing this with. 

“Yes!” Edward gasped, voice low and hoarse, the way Oswald heard it countless times in the videos, yet somehow different, more intimate. “I’ve wanted you since the very moment we met!” Ed confessed and lowered Oswald onto the bed. 

Oswald parted his legs, allowing Ed to settle between his thighs as they kept kissing and grinding against one another. Soft whimpers escaped through his lips and he felt a wet, hot streak slide down his cheek. Edward wanted him! He didn’t hate him and he wasn’t mad at him! Edward wanted him and they had a chance at happiness! Together! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I chose the name "Adrian" because of Cory’s character from 1985. 
> 
> I hope you're all enjoying this story! Your lovely comments give me life! Thank you! <3


	9. Chapter 9

Still panting, Oswald lay on his back, wide eyes staring at Edward’s ceiling as he was getting his breath. His palm rested on his naked chest and he could feel his heart hammering wildly in his rib cage. What he and Ed did tonight was…  _ amazing _ .  _ Absolutely amazing! _ Oswald couldn’t believe it actually happened. Perhaps his mind was playing a cruel trick on him, and he’d wake up alone the next morning only to realize that it had been nothing but a dream. 

He turned his head to the side just to make sure he wasn’t alone now, and his heart warmed at the sight he beheld. There Edward was, warm, brown eyes sparkling at Oswald as Ed smiled back at him. He looked happy. He was real. And he was there. 

“That was,” Ed exhaled loudly, a wide grin plastered on his face, “ _ absolutely fascinating!”  _

_ Fascinating _ . What an interesting word choice. Oswald smiled to himself, fondly. “It really was,” he agreed. 

Ed shifted a little to fold his hands under his cheek. “Did you really enjoy it too?” he asked, his words laced with nervousness he failed to conceal. “I mean, was I… okay?” 

Oswald’s lips parted in surprise. Did Ed think he faked it? Wasn’t it obvious enough how much he loved every single moment of their lovemaking? 

“Okay?” he repeated incredulously. “Ed, you were  _ better  _ than okay! Much, much better than okay. You were wonderful.” 

He could feel his cheeks heating up at the admission. He wasn’t used to being the one doing the reassuring. Usually it was his low self-esteem that made him feel like he wasn’t worthy of love. So often Jim would have to hold him and comfort him to prove him wrong. But with Ed everything was so different. Oswald didn’t feel unworthy when he was with Ed. He felt free! 

He cupped Ed’s face lovingly and gently caressed him. “You made me so very happy, Edward.” 

The sincerity of his own words brought tears to his eyes. He felt silly for being so emotional, but he couldn’t help it. 

Edward was blushing too. “I was nervous that…” he trailed off. “Never mind. Thank you, Oswald.” He looked at him kind of sheepishly. “Do you mind if we cuddle?” 

Oswald smiled. “I don’t mind at all. But perhaps we should clean up a bit first? You know, so it’s more comfortable.” 

“Oh, of course!” Edward jumped off the bed and hurried to the bathroom. 

Oswald wanted to tell him that he needn’t rush, but Ed was so eager to please him (again) that he wouldn’t have listened anyway. He returned all freshened up and with a wet cloth in hand, smiling widely at Oswald as he started cleaning him up. 

Oswald swallowed, his old insecurities returning to him. He felt rather self-conscious as Ed wiped his naked body in gentle strokes, his eyes taking in the view as he cleaned him up with the warm, wet cloth. He looked rather in awe of Oswald’s appearance, which felt so odd to Oswald. He didn’t think his naked form was impressive in any way, but Edward’s lips were curled up in a soft, appreciative smile and it warmed Oswald’s heart, making him feel a tad less tense. 

He wanted to say something, it was a good time to talk, but he wasn’t sure where to begin. He could confess his love for Edward, but suddenly his nervousness was back. 

“You’re beautiful,” Ed said as if sensing Oswald’s anxiety. “I could touch you all night long.” A little embarrassed, he chuckled and glanced down at his hands. “Sorry. That sounded weird.” 

Oswald shook his head. “No, it,” he cleared his throat because his voice was trembling, “it sounds lovely.” 

Ed looked up and their eyes met. Oswald smiled sheepishly and so did Ed. He should tell him now. Just open his mouth and say,  _ “This sounds lovely and you’re lovely too. In fact, I’m pretty sure I love you. I want to be with you. I want to spend time with you, day and night. You make me feel so happy, Edward! I want you in my life for always.  _

He wanted to say it, but he didn’t. Instead, he remained silent, mesmerized by how wonderful Edward was. He couldn’t look away from the man, admiring every line on his face, his smile, his nose, his gorgeous, sharp cheekbones, his lips, and those eyes… Oswald was under a spell he never wanted broken. 

When he was done, Edward put away the washcloth and returned to bed, pulling Oswald close and smiling as they snuggled. 

“I’m glad it was you,” he whispered. 

“What do you mean?” Oswald asked, not quite following. 

“My first time,” Ed blushed, biting back his smile and nuzzling Oswald’s neck. “I’m glad it was you.” 

Oswald’s eyes went wide. He propped himself on his elbow and stared at Edward utterly lost. 

“Your first… Ed, are you a virgin?” 

Ed grinned, still flustered. “Not anymore.” 

Oswald couldn’t breathe. “You mean I--” He gasped and hid his face in his hands. “Oh, my God! What have I done? This wasn’t supposed to happen like this!” 

What was Oswald thinking? He screwed up so badly! He was supposed to confess his feelings for Ed and make this special for him! Instead, he seduced the guy, driving him mad with passion to a point where he didn’t even get the chance to tell Oswald he hadn’t done this before. Or perhaps he tried to, but Oswald was too aroused to hear. They were supposed to  _ discuss  _ this first before doing it, but Oswald threw himself at Ed like some kind of a-- a--  _ hussy! _ His mother had warned him so many times, she taught him about these things, how wonderful love was and how the first time making love was meant to be magical. Was Oswald magical enough for Ed? He didn’t even know how to woo him properly! Ed deserved so much better! 

“Edward, I’m so sorry,” Oswald muttered, looking at Ed regretfully. “I didn’t mean to take this from you.” 

Ed’s smile faded. He sat up in his bed, pulling his knees to his chest and curling up on himself. 

Oswald wanted to make it right somehow, so he kept talking. “It felt so good to kiss you and be close to you, I didn’t think-- I had no idea you were a virgin. It’s silly, really. I always assumed you were some kind of a playboy.” 

Ed’s eyebrows shot up in surprise and he snorted. “Me? A playboy? Do I even look like a playboy?” 

Oswald beheld Edward’s beautiful face, his well-shaped body, his perfect cock, and sighed. “You do, actually. You’re so gorgeous. I thought you had a long list of lovers in your life, just waiting for you to pick them for the night. That’s why I was so nervous to talk to you about this and… Oh, God! What have I done? I’m sorry!” 

He put his head in his hands again and tried to calm down. He really did mess things up tremendously, didn’t he? 

Edward waited a beat and when spoke he sounded calm and collected. “You really don’t need to apologize, Oswald. I understand. It was a moment of weakness. You came to me because you thought it wouldn’t mean much. Just a bit of fun. And it  _ was  _ fun! Up until I blurted out about my stupid virginity.” He rolled his eyes with a loud exhale. “But that changes nothing, I promise. You have  _ nothing  _ to feel bad about.” 

But Oswald  _ did  _ feel bad. He opened his mouth to say something, but once again his throat was closing and he couldn’t utter a word. 

“We’re friends,” Edward asked. “Aren’t we, Oswald?” 

“Of course!” 

“And friends can blow off steam together. Relieve some stress.” 

Oswald’s heart sank. Was that all this was to Ed? Stress relief? 

“Perhaps you needed it to take your mind off of Jim Gordon, to move on, or just... to have fun. It’s all normal.” 

Oswald shook his head. This wasn’t about Jim! He never even thought about Jim when he was with Ed! 

“My point is,” Edward went on decisively, looking Oswald in the eyes, “even if this was just a one time thing for you, it means the world to me. I really care about you, Oswald. You’re my best friend and I’m glad I shared my first intimate experience with you. I don’t regret it. Our night was… magical to me. So don’t feel bad that it happened. I-- I don’t want you to think that this has to change things between us. I want to preserve our friendship.” 

“But I don’t!” Oswald blurted out, overwhelmed by all the feelings in his heart. “I want things to change! Edward, I--” But the moment he met Ed's gaze again he couldn't utter another word. "Damn it!" He hissed angrily at himself. 

His eyes landed on Ed’s piano and an idea came to his mind. He lifted his finger up for Ed to wait there and slid out of the bed, heading towards the piano. In the mirror above it he could see the puzzled look on Edward’s face as he wondered what Oswald was up to. 

“I’ve been trying to tell you something all day long,” Oswald said as he sat down at the piano. “But I was so nervous, I couldn’t. I guess I'm going to need a bit of help. I'm not good at this, I can't play the way you do. But bear with me. Okay?” 

Ed nodded and Oswald took in a deep breath as he placed his hands on the keyboard to extract the sounds of the first chords of the melody he wanted to play. A brief intro and he started singing too. 

_ “You see this guy, this guy's in love with you.”  _

Edward’s breath hitched, wide eyed and his lips parted in surprise. 

_ “Yes I'm in love. Who looks at you the way I do?”  _

Ed’s face lit up in realization. 

_ “When you smile I can tell we know each other very well.”  _

They smiled at one another into the mirror. 

_ “How can I show you,” _

Edward got up from the bed and walked towards Oswald. 

_ “I'm glad I got to know you cause.”  _

_ “I've heard some talk,”  _ Ed sang, looking lovingly at Oswald and Oswald’s heart skipped a beat.  _ “They say you think I'm fine.”  _ He took the seat next to him and his hands joined Oswald's on the keyboard, assisting at the more difficult passages and making the music more beautiful and rich.  _ “Yes, I’m in love. And what I'd do to make you mine. Tell me now is it so? Don’t let me be the last to know. My hands are shaking, don't let my heart keep breaking cause.”  _

Edward was gazing at him with wondrous eyes, smiling through tears and biting at his lips. Oswald couldn’t believe this was actually happening, but his voice became more confident as they kept singing together, their voices melting into one as the music swelling around them. 

_ “I need your love. I want your love. Say you're in love, and you will be my guy, if not I'll just die.”  _

Ed slipped his arm playfully around Oswald’s waist to reach a few higher notes and Oswald giggled like a giddy school boy. 

_ “Tell me now is it so, don't let me be the last to know. My hands are shaking. Don't let my heart keep breaking cause I need your love.”  _

The beautiful sounds that came from under Edward’s long fingers made Oswald even more emotional. His hands slipped down to rest on his knees, leaving the keyboard to the considerably more skilled Edward. He poured his feelings into singing instead. 

_ “I want your love.”  _

They gazed into each other’s eyes and Oswald could tell Edward’s heart was racing as fast as his own at that moment. 

_ “Say you're in love, and you will be in love with this guy. If not I'll just die.”  _

Feeling inspired, Edward delivered a beautiful improvisation on the piano that drew even more happy tears from Oswald’s eyes. Then the song was over and Ed looked at him, lips slightly parted in wonder. 

“You’re in love with me?” he asked, breathless. 

“I’m in love with you,” Oswald confessed, just as breathless. 

Edward chuckled softly and took Oswald’s face in his hands. 

“I love you too,” he said and leaned in to kiss Oswald gently, lovingly, reverently. 

Oswald kissed him back, smiling and crying at the same time. He was a mess, but he was no longer worried about that. Edward was just as much of a mess as him and everything was wonderful! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ This ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?reload=9&v=2dDGnl8_Dzg) is the song Oswald and Edward were singing together. Oswald did woo Ed after all, penguin style, with love songs ;)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! As always, thank you all so much for the wonderful comments! They keep me inspired! 
> 
> I hope you like the rest of the story too :) 


	10. Chapter 10

“All night I’ve been calling. Straight to voicemail, straight to voicemail, it says,” Gertrud pouted. “What is this straight to voicemail when mother is calling? I’ve been worried sick!” 

“I’m fine, mother.” 

“Fine, fine,” she imitated him. “You could’ve been dead in a ditch and my calls would just be going straight to voicemail, straight to voicemail.” 

Oswald sighed. “If you must know, I’ve been with Edward.” The corners of his lips quirked up into a soft smile. “I did what you told me. I wooed him.” 

As if by a spell, Gertrud’s face lit up with joy and she clapped her hands excitedly. “You two are sweethearts now? How wonderful! I knew he loves you too. A mother can sense these things.” 

“Well, you were right,” Oswald chuckled fondly. “He really loves me.” His heart was aflutter just at the thought of it. Edward loved him! 

Gertrud narrowed her eyes at him. “And you stayed with Edward all night long?” she asked suspiciously.

“Yes. I stayed with him, so it’s fine. I was safe.” 

He thought this settled things, but Gertrud was still pouting. 

“Oswald,” she said, warning in her voice, “were you being naughty?” 

Oswald’s eyes widened in horror. Was she serious? “I-- What? Mother!” 

“Well, were you?” she insisted, crossing her arms over her chest. 

Oswald was speechless. He didn’t really know what to say to that. What did his mother want to hear? 

“We discussed our feelings,” he finally decided to say. “And we expressed our love for one another.” 

Gertrud hummed knowingly. “You were being naughty!” 

Her reaction would’ve been hilarious, if it were on one of the TV shows she liked to watch. But happening in real life, Oswald did not find it that funny. 

He sighed. “Can we  _ not  _ discuss this? Please?” He walked towards the kitchen to grab something to eat. He always needed to nibble on something when he was stressed out, so a peanut butter sandwich sounded really good to him. 

He heard his mother’s soft footsteps behind him and wondered if she was going to keep pouting at him, but instead she just chuckled fondly. 

“You don’t need to be embarrassed, my beautiful boy. I was young too, once,” she announced. “I am familiar with the urges of the young flesh.” 

Shit. That was worse than her pouting! Could they go back to the pouting again, please? 

“Oh, God, mother!” Oswald gasped and hid his face in his hands. “Stop that!” 

She shrugged. “You act as if it’s something bad. I thought men liked to brag when they-- what do you call it? -- get laying.” 

Oswald groaned and continued making his sandwich. “It’s  _ ‘get laid’ _ . And I’d rather not kiss and tell.” 

“Such a gentleman,” she smiled proudly and cupped his face with her warm hands, bringing him to her eye level. “I’m so happy you and Edward are together now. He’s good for you and you are good for him.” 

Oswald looked into her kind eyes and smiled back. “Thank you, mother.” 

He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. He was happy too and he wanted to share it with her. 

“My beautiful boy,” she said lovingly. “Now, go eat your sandwich and rest.” She headed for the living room, but stopped at the door frame. “Oh, and you can call Edward for lunch before you come down to the shop,” she winked. “I won’t be home, so you two can…  _ talk  _ some more.” 

“Mother!” Oswald blushed rapidly again, but Gertrud left the room giggling before he could say anything else. 

~*~ 

Oswald’s phone buzzed with a notification. The Riddler had posted a new video (Yes, Oswald had set an alert for that, don’t judge him!). He dropped everything he was doing and opened his laptop to check the video on a bigger screen. A part of him felt guilty to keep watching the riddle blog after what happened between him and Ed last night. It was beginning to feel a lot like stalking. But another part of him was curious to see if Ed would change something in his usual style of video-making after their night together. If he would seem somehow different. 

Oswald clicked play and held his breath in anticipation. 

_ “Hello, everyone,”  _ Ed greeted from the screen. He was dressed in a simple green sweater, none of his usual flair this time.  _ “This isn’t a riddle video, I’m afraid. Sorry to disappoint. I have an announcement to make and I hope you’d show understanding. I won’t be posting any videos here for a while. I have some things to sort out before I can continue with this experiment. I believe I’m mostly done with my research though, so I might not return at all. Only time will show. In the meantime, I want to thank everyone who participated in this, who watched and liked and commented on my videos. Each and every one of you matters in my research.”  _ He snorted a little as he added,  _ “Like they say, every single sperm counts.”  _

Oswald’s eyebrows shot up. What a dork!  _ His  _ dork… 

_ “See you around,”  _ Ed smiled and waved, then disconnected.

Oswald stared at the screen as a few regretful comments popped up under the new video. A bunch of regular fans of Ed’s sexy riddle blog were mourning the unexplained hiatus. Edward replied patiently to each of them, but gave no particular reason for the break. Oswald, however,  _ knew.  _ Edward stopped posting new videos on his blog because of him. 

It felt weird to know Ed seized his hobby, side-research or whatever he liked to call it, for Oswald. It didn’t seem fair. True, Oswald had to admit he felt a little jealous at times, knowing that other people watched Ed like this and most likely masturbated to his videos. But at the same time none of those other people knew Edward the way Oswald did. They were strangers to Ed’s loving heart, his fun personality, his kindness, his dorkiness, his intelligence, his cheekiness. They didn’t know the way he loved to keep everything organized and perfect, or the way he joked to make Oswald laugh. They only saw one part of Ed -- the Riddler that the videos showed. They didn’t have Edward’s love. That belonged to Oswald entirely. That thought was enough to give Oswald the confidence to deal with the existence of the riddle blog without feeling insecure about his relationship with Ed. So sweet as it was of Ed to stop posting sex videos of himself online, Oswald couldn’t really accept that gesture. Honestly, he felt bad that Ed would make such a big change in his life for Oswald’s sake simply because he assumed that Oswald wouldn’t like it. A conversation about this was long overdue, especially now that they were dating. Oswald had to find a way to broach the topic to Ed and let him know that it was alright; he didn’t need to change, Oswald loved him as he was. 

~*~ 

_ “What’s a four-letter word that ends in “k” and means the same as intercourse?”  _

Oswald snorted and blushed rapidly. “Edward! We just did it! Give me a moment to recover.” 

“No, not  _ that _ ,” Ed shook his head with a small nervous chuckle of his own. “The answer is  _ talk _ . Can we? Talk, I mean. I have something I need to say.” 

He looked uncertain and nervous as he said that and that made Oswald nervous too. He sat up and braced himself. Having a _‘talk’_ was never a good sign. It rarely implied that the talk was going to be pleasant. 

“I’m listening,” he said, doing his best to appear calm. 

Ed swallowed and his wide open eyes met Oswald’s. “You know I love you very much, don’t you, Oswald?” 

_ Oh, dear. _ This was worse than Oswald thought! Was Ed breaking up with him? 

“Yes, of course, I do. And I love you too, Edward,” he replied, heartbeat pulsing in his ears, making it almost impossible to hear Ed’s words properly. 

“Right,” Ed exhaled. “I sincerely hope that this doesn’t change after our conversation,” he muttered, more to himself than to Oswald. Then he continued, “Oswald. I wasn’t entirely honest with you when we met.” 

That was hardly a big deal. They didn’t know each other yet when they first met. It made sense that Edward needed time before beginning to open up and share things with Oswald. 

“Go on,” Oswald encouraged, mindful not to show any emotion, positive or negative, lest he discouraged Edward from discussing whatever this was with him. 

Edward was shaking -- his hands, his long, long legs, every part of him was jittery. Oswald was beginning to worry. “Oswald, I’m not the man you think I am. I, umm. You know I love riddles, right?” 

“... yes?” 

“So here’s the thing. My love for riddles, it-- it made me curious about certain things. So I, umm, it was a while ago when I started a-- a sort of a--” 

Realization dawned on Oswald before Ed could get on with his little speech. And suddenly it was Oswald who was panicking about it. They’ve been dating for a week, things were  _ wonderful _ and Oswald was so very happy. He hadn’t talked to Edward about the blog, though. He kept putting it off because… well, because he didn’t know how to approach it. He knew what he wanted to say, but he was afraid it might come off wrong. Keeping that information to himself for so long made things a lot more awkward to admit than if he had mentioned the whole thing earlier. Now suddenly Oswald found himself in a much bigger mess. Edward wanted to share this with him and Oswald wasn’t sure how to respond! 

He could easily let Ed talk and then pretend he didn’t know about the blog. He’d hug Ed and tell him it was fine. Ed would be relieved and Oswald would be in the clear. But he didn’t want to lie to Edward. Yet, he wasn’t exactly sure how to admit the truth either. How could he tell Ed that he knew about the blog all along and that he even watched it regularly? Saying it out loud might sound a little pervy and Oswald didn’t want to make Ed feel uncomfortable or unsafe around him. It would’ve been ideal if they both confessed, then laughed about the whole thing and put it behind them. But Edward seemed so nervous about this, it would definitely be a big deal to him. He wouldn’t just brush it off. It was an impossible decision and Oswald wasn’t ready for it. He had to do something at once! He had to stop this conversation! 

“... I’ve mentioned to you before a theory that I have about riddles. So this is purely scientific, you see. And I hope you don’t mind it too much, -- it is in the past now, -- but I need to show you th--” 

Panicked, Oswald blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “Make love to me, Edward!” 

“Umm, what?” 

“I want you. Right now.” He straddled Ed and started rocking in his lap. “Drive me mad with passion!” 

He moaned loudly and threw his head back, giving Ed the perfect view to his neck. He knew Ed loved his neck. But Edward did not respond as eagerly as Oswald hoped. 

“Oswald, wait.” He placed his hands on Oswald’s hips to steady him. “I was trying to tell you something important.” 

“This is more important,” Oswald whispered sensually and licked his way into Edward’s lips. “Come on, my love, make me yours again.” 

Ed pulled away and swiftly flipped them over so that he was on top of Oswald. Their eyes met, Edward’s gaze utterly lost. 

“Oswald, what’s going on?” he asked with concern. 

“Nothing, I just want you. Can’t I just want to make love?” 

Edward did not buy it. “What’s wrong, Oswald?” 

Oswald’s mind was desperately searching for a good explanation, for something to smooth things over, but Edward knew him too well and Oswald loved him too much to blatantly lie to his face. 

He sighed, deflated. “I know about your riddle blog, Ed,” he confessed. 

A beat of silence and then Ed blinked. “What?” 

His voice was so quiet, Oswald nearly missed it.

“I-- I’ve seen your videos.” 

Ed jerked away from him, a sharp, quick movement as if he’d burned himself. 

Oswald went on, “I understand you’re nervous about it, Ed, but you don’t have to be! I’ve seen your blog and I don’t mind. I love you just the way you are! You’re perfect to me.” 

Edward’s frown deepened and Oswald wondered if he hadn’t said the wrong thing. It had worked so well in his head when he practiced different versions of that same speech. But he must’ve missed something now. 

“How long have you known about this?” Edward asked. “When did you discover my blog?” 

Ah. That was the tricky part. 

“Since… before I met you,” Oswald whispered and he could see it in Edward’s eyes, the exact moment something broke inside Ed. Oswald babbled frantically, trying to make things better. “I didn’t realize why you seemed so familiar at first, but then I did and-- I didn’t bring it up because it wasn’t any of my business anyway. And then we became friends and I didn’t really know how to tell you that I knew about it. And then we fell in love and I wasn’t sure how you’d react, and--” 

Edward lifted his hands in front of himself defensively, a barrier between Oswald and him. “You-- you knew and you never told me?” 

It wasn’t a lie. Oswald didn’t lie, he simply… omitted the truth. 

“I know it seems… bad,” he allowed, “but if you think about it--” 

Ed snapped. “If I think about it, what? It’s not bad at all that you lied to me for months?” 

Oswald swallowed even though his mouth was completely dry. “I just meant, well…” He trailed off. 

“Fine,” Ed said sternly when it became clear that Oswald wasn’t going to offer a further explanation. “We only just met, it was awkward to mention a sex blog right away. I can understand that. But why didn’t you say anything after we became friends? I thought we trusted each other.” 

“We did! We do!” Oswald said eagerly. 

“So? Why didn’t you tell me? Was it because you stopped watching my blog? Was that it? You stopped watching, so it seemed pointless to bring it up?” 

_ Oh dear.  _

“Tell me, Oswald. When did you stop watching my videos?” 

Oswald gaped like a fish. His heart sank at the sudden realization that this was what was about to tip the scales against him. 

“I--,” he said, “I kind of didn’t really stop.” 

Edward paled. “You kept watching me orgasm online after we became friends?” 

It didn’t paint a very positive picture. 

“It’s not what it sounds like,” Oswald said defensively. “Your blog wasn’t just a peculiar form of porn for me. It provided comfort. It made me feel better when I was at my worst. I swear, Ed, I felt closer to you because of it.” 

Edward grimaced. “Stop talking, Oswald!” he cried. “Is  _ this  _ why you fell for me? Because of my videos?” 

“No!” Oswald shook his head frantically. He kept saying the wrong things, why was this happening! “Ed, that is  _ not  _ why I fell in love with you! I fell in love because you’re everything I ever wanted! You understand me and you’re so intelligent. I love you for your mind and your personality, and the way you make me feel when I’m with you! I can’t imagine a life without--” 

“Leave,” Edward cut him off, voice cold. 

Oswald’s whole world began to crumble in front of him. “Sorry?” 

“Leave, Oswald,” Edward repeated firmly. 

“But Ed…” 

Ed averted his gaze from Oswald and curled up on himself. “I can’t look at you right now. I need time to think,” he said bitterly. “I’ll call you when I’m ready. Please don’t contact me before I do.” 

Oswald swallowed around the lump in his throat. This conversation went worse than he could ever imagine. He fucked up bad and there was nothing left to do but to respect Edward’s decision. 

“Of course,” Oswald uttered quietly and slid off Edward’s bed. He gathered his clothes in silence and dressed up as quickly as he could, ignoring the fact that he looked like a mess. Edward didn’t glance in his direction even once. Oswald felt completely alone. “I-- I hope we can talk about this, Ed. I love you and I never meant to hurt you.” 

Edward turned his head further away from Oswald. 

With a heavy heart and tears in his eyes, Oswald left Ed’s loft. He took the stairs down as if in a trance, pushed the door and let the cold Gotham air hit his face when he was outside the building. It was a long walk to his mother’s apartment, but Oswald was not in a hurry. He couldn’t really face Gertrud’s insistent questions right now anyway. All he could see in front of him was Edward’s face, twisted in disappointment and hurt. Life was cruel. To let him taste perfect happiness only to lose it again. It was a sadistic twist of fate and Oswald should’ve seen it coming. He had no one else to blame but himself. 

He walked a few steps more and then finally burst into tears. He screamed like a madman at the wind and he was lucky there was no one around to hear him. Like always, when he hit rock bottom, he was alone. 

His sobs slowly subsided and he managed to steady his breathing again. His phone buzzed and he fished it out of his pocket with shaky fingers, hoping against all hope that it was Edward, calling to ask him to come back. It was only his mother. He couldn’t really deal with her right now, he really couldn't. But he knew she could be very persistent. If he ignored her call, she would worry and keep calling. Or worse, maybe even call Ed. 

He wiped his face to make himself feel more in control and answered the phone. “Yes, mother?” 

“Oswald, sweetheart, I’m sorry I bother you, but I know you’ll stay with Edward tonight so I have to remind you to be at the shop tomorrow morning.” 

Oswald nearly burst into tears again. He wasn’t staying with Edward tonight. 

“The-- the shop?” he forced himself to ask, willing his voice to be as steady as possible under the circumstances. 

“About that order, remember? The baby shower? We’re meeting our client tomorrow. She has a few additional requests.” 

“Of course. I’ll be there, mother.” 

“Thank you, my boy. You’re so good to your old mother,” she purred. He remained quiet and she found that suspicious. “Is everything alright, my sweet?” 

Oswald couldn’t deal with this now. “Everything’s fine, mother. What’s this client’s name again?” he asked distractedly to change the topic. 

“Kean. Barbara Kean. An elegant young woman. Very pregnant, big belly, but no wedding ring. I feel sorry for her. Raising a child alone is not easy.” Gertrud waited for a response but none came. “Oswald? Oswald, are you there?” 

Barbara Kean? He was managing the flower arrangements for Barbara Kean’s baby shower? Life really was cruel. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter broke my heart. That's probably why it took me so long to update. I feel like I need to remind you all that there will be a happy ending to this story, so no worries! We'll get through this! 
> 
> Thank you for reading and for all the lovely comments! They melt my heart in the best possible way :')


	11. Chapter 11

“My son should be here any minute now. He’s never late,” he heard his mother say apologetically. 

He was standing in front of the half-opened door, his shaky hand hovering over the doorknob as he hesitated whether he should even go inside the flower shop. 

“Well,  _ that’s  _ clearly not accurate,” a female voice replied. “Right now he’s late. So I guess he failed.” 

Gertrud let out a forced little chuckle at that remark. She never allowed herself to be rude to customers, even though she wasn’t above slipping the occasional Narcissus in the bouquets of particularly rude clients. His mother was well-versed in the meaning of flowers. She claimed Narcissuses were the perfect flowers to curse egocentric and disrespectful people and teach them a lesson. Oswald didn’t know how much truth there was to this, but his mother believed it with passion, so he respected it because of her. 

Right now, though, his mother was helpless. She wouldn’t openly defend herself against the biting tongue of the woman who stole Jim Gordon from him. Gertrud didn’t even know who Barbara Kean was and that too was Oswald’s fault. He never told her about Barbara. But he couldn’t leave his mother alone with that woman, so he sucked in a deep breath and pushed the door. 

“Forgive my lateness. I got held up in traffic,” he told Ms. Kean and Gertrud. 

He didn’t say that he spent the whole night aimlessly wandering the streets of Gotham like a lunatic, nor did he mention that he waited outside his mother’s apartment until he saw her leave for work so that she wouldn’t see what a mess he was. And he definitely didn’t share with them that he cried in the shower for more than an hour and then had to use a ton of concealer to make himself look somewhat presentable. They didn’t need to know any of that. 

Barbara Kean looked him head to toe as if assessing if he were telling the truth. 

“I like your hair,” she finally said with the most casual tone Oswald had ever heard, and turned back to Gertrud. “You were saying white lilies represent true love?” 

“Pure love,” Gertrud corrected with a smile. 

White lilies were his mother’s favorite flower. A few days ago she told Oswald to give Ed a bouquet of white lilies, but Oswald thought it was too soon. He didn’t want to spook Ed. Now he might never get the chance to declare his pure love for Edward. 

Barbara Kean scrunched her nose. “I’m not sure pure love is what I’m going for with this though. I want a bouquet that represents a love that vibrates with passion and excitement, a love that burns inside our veins, uniting us in fire as we rise from the ashes.” 

Gertrud blinked at the young woman. The whole situation seemed so comical, Barbara with her theatrical bravado and Gertrud completely lost. Oswald heard himself chuckle a little, despite how broken he felt on the inside. 

The sound he inadvertently made brought Barbara’s attention back on him and she arched an eyebrow. 

“Anything you have to add, Mr. Kapelput?” 

“It’s Cobblepot, actually,” Oswald said, wondering if his name would mean anything to her at all. Had Jim mentioned that he used to date a Cobblepot? Did she know who he was when she chose his shop? Would she realize it now or was  _ Cobblepot  _ just another odd name that was perfectly usual for Gotham in its oddity? 

“Whatever,” Barbara waved her hand dismissively. “What do you have to add? You snorted.” 

It was hardly a  _ snort _ , but now was not the time to argue about that. 

“It’s just,” he said with a perfectly polite smile that he had mustered over his years of selling flowers, “the kind of love you’re describing isn’t very usual for baby showers.” 

“Oh. You weren’t here earlier, you don’t know,” Barbara noted. Her slight irritation from a moment ago dissipated. “This isn’t about that. Your mother and I waited for you to discuss the baby shower. No, this is for a special bouquet I want to give my significant other.” 

Gertrud’s eyes lit up. “The baby’s father! Of course!” She clapped her hands excitedly. “That’s a sweet gesture.” 

Oswald understood his mother’s enthusiasm. She had assumed Barbara was single and being a single mother herself, felt compassion for her. She understood the challenges Barbara would have to face in the future. Hearing of the existence of a significant other -- the baby’s father -- was probably a relief. But Oswald couldn’t join his mother’s excitement about this. Oswald was miserable. Edward didn’t want anything to do with him and most likely wouldn’t even want to see him ever again, while Jim was playing the happy husband with Barbara who was sending him love declarations with flowers. Talk about bad karma. 

“Not the baby daddy,” Barbara shook her head with a tired smirk. “He’s an ass who keeps getting in the way. No. This is for my girlfriend Tabby. I,” her expression instantly shifted to a softer, more nervous one, “I’m planning on proposing to her tonight. I want everything to go smoothly. So I need the right flowers.” 

Oswald’s jaw dropped. Barbara was not here to gloat. She was not here to hurt him. She was not here as some cosmic fuck-you-Oswald-Cobblepot. She wasn’t plotting to get Jim back, she actually had her own life beyond Gordon. Barbara was actually kind of fun. She wasn’t that different to Oswald himself. Sharp and harsh on the outside but capable of genuine love and tenderness for the people she held dear. Oswald could relate to that. 

He watched her as his mother gave a few suggestions for the perfect flower bouquet and he couldn’t help but wonder, was this the woman he feared and hated so much? She wasn’t the monster he thought her to be. She was just another person with her own hopes and dreams, her own disappointments and sorrows, her loves and her joys, her tears and her troubles. She was only trying to survive as best as she could in this cold, crazy world. 

And just like that Oswald didn’t hate her anymore. He felt lighter for it, somehow. Like a burden he didn’t know he’d been carrying around, was lifted from his shoulders. He didn’t hate Barbara Kean. In fact, he wished her and her new family all the happiness he had lost in his own life. 

~*~ 

“You’re not going out tonight?” Gertrud asked as they were sitting on the couch in front of the TV, watching some silly game show together. 

“You don’t want me at home, mother?” he teased instead of a reply. “Got any plans I shouldn’t know about?” 

Gertrud laughed and playfully slapped his arm. “Oswald, really! Such thoughts!” 

“Well, what am I supposed to think? You, asking me when I’ll be out the way you do. Like you want me out of your hair,” he went on. 

She always got distracted when he teased her about something. It almost worked this time. Almost. 

“It’s nothing like that. I’m just surprised. You usually spend your evenings with Edward. Why not tonight?” 

Oswald inhaled. His heart felt heavy again, but he ignored it, as usual. “Mother, I--” he bit his lips briefly to force himself to appear calm. “I’m not going to spend much time with Edward from now on.” 

Gertrud frowned in confusion. “I don’t understand. Why is that?” 

“Well.” His mouth was open, but the words weren’t coming out. His mother’s big, warm, blue eyes were looking at him, a slight worry creeping into them, and Oswald couldn’t break her heart again. There was no point in them both going through that again. He’d have to deal with this later. For now the less she knew, the better. “Ed’s working late this week,” he said. “It might take even longer than a week, I don’t know. He’s swamped with work and you know Ed.” 

“Such perfectionist, such a good boy.” 

Oswald smiled softly. “Yes. Yes, that’s right.” 

He was learning to live with the constant, relentless pain in his chest. That faithful companion that just wouldn’t leave. 

Something must’ve changed in his expression because his mother cupped his cheeks lovingly and smiled at him. “And you’re such a good boy too, Oswald. Such a good boyfriend! So thoughtful.” She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly. 

Oswald fought back the tears that were stinging his eyes and hugged her back. It was nice to feel her warmth and her love. He needed it more than ever at this moment. 

“My darling boy,” Gertrud kept saying and stroking the back of his head. 

Oswald bit the inside of his cheek hard to stop himself from bursting into another fit of desperate sobs and snuggled closer into his mother’s embrace. He could cry later, when she’s asleep. For now he had to be strong and appear happy. For her. 

They watched TV some more, his mother slipping between making commentaries on the game show and discussing her thoughts on Barbara Kean and the baby shower. Oswald plastered a smile on his face and endured it all with surprising calmness. When his mother’s shows were over, Oswald kissed her and wished her sweet dreams. Then he took a long bath and went to bed himself, alone, and cried, and cried, and cried. 

~*~ 

It’s been three days without Edward and Oswald felt utterly broken. All he wanted was to call Ed and hear his voice again. He wanted to tell him how sorry he was and how much he loved him. He wanted to go to Ed’s place, fall on his knees and beg him to forgive him and to take him back. But Edward had asked him not to. Edward wished for Oswald to leave him alone and allow him time to think and Oswald owed it to him to respect that request. He had to give Ed space, but at the same time he was terrified that Ed might not call at all. 

He missed Ed constantly. It was all he could think about. Losing Edward hurt more than anything ever had before. Oswald spent every free second he had, scrolling through his camera roll, looking at pictures of Ed he had taken before everything went pear shaped. Such happy times! When they were friends, when they were in love. Would Oswald ever have this wonderful feeling back in his life? Or was it lost forever? He didn’t doubt that Edward truly loved him. He had Edward’s love but he ruined it. And now Ed might never-- 

He sucked in a sharp breath and tried to push those thoughts out of his head. He had to at least hope that Ed would cool off and forgive him eventually. After all, Oswald didn’t hurt him deliberately. It was not even a real lie, just an omission. Oswald simply never mentioned that he’d watched Edward’s blog before. Surely that trespass could be forgiven? 

His thumb hovered over Ed’s name on his phone again and it took all of Oswald’s self-control to not dial the number. Like it took all of his self-control to not go to Ed’s blog and rewatch his videos. He just missed Ed so much, he needed to hear his voice and see his face, even if only on video. But it was those videos that got him into this mess in the first place, so Oswald resisted that urge too. It was getting more and more difficult each day. Nothing mattered to him anymore, he felt numb about everything other than the gaping, Edward-shaped hole in his chest that consumed him with pain. 

He was staring at another picture of Ed, eyes filling with tears, when he heard the little bell on the door of the shop chime to announce that a customer had entered. 

Oswald shoved his phone into his pocket and wiped at his eyes quickly. “Welcome! How may I help y--” 

His words died in his throat. He stared at the new customer, pale and stunned. 

“Oswald. We need to talk,” the familiar voice said. 

Oswald swallowed and looked away. “We have nothing to say to each other, Jim. Why are you here?” 

“Because I gave you time. I gave you space. I didn’t bother you. Like you asked. Now we need to talk.”

Oswald sucked in a sharp inhale. “I told you, I don’t want to talk to you, Jim. Please leave.” 

Jim did not leave. Instead, he crossed the distance to the counter and took Oswald’s hand in his. The warm, familiar touch nearly burned Oswald’s skin. 

“Oswald, I screwed up,” Jim said with feeling. “I know I did. I behaved like an ass and I know I hurt you. But I still love you. Give me another chance?” Those clear, blue eyes were gazing at Oswald with a mixture of hope and regret. “Forgive me and we can be together again. Happy again. Like in the beginning. Remember that? Remember how happy we were when it all started?” 

Oswald swallowed. He did remember. He also knew he was a different man back then. 

“We all make mistakes we wish we hadn’t made. And I know my mistake was really unforgivable. But believe me, not a day goes by without me regretting it. I’d do anything to have you back. Haven’t you ever done something you wish you could take back, Oswald?” 

Oswald closed his eyes, his face twisted into a pained grimace.  _ Edward…  _ He wished he hadn’t hurt Edward.  __

“Forgive me, Oswald. Please?” 

Oswald was shaking. Jim had no idea how painful it was for him to hear those words. Because he was familiar with regret. And he too wished he could fix his mistake and be forgiven for it. And what Jim did to him was not really a real lie, just an omission; Jim simply didn’t mention to Oswald that he got his ex-girlfriend pregnant. Oswald bit his lip. His previous logic was clearly flawed, and if Oswald couldn’t forgive Jim, how could he possibly expect Edward to forgive Oswald? 

“Oswald? You’re crying…” Jim said, concerned. 

Oswald really was crying. The tears started sliding down his cheeks without his consent, hot to the point of burning, and he couldn’t stop them. He was having a mental breakdown at the worst possible moment and he was helpless to prevent it. He let out a loud cry and covered his face with his hands as he sobbed uncontrollably. 

“Oswald!” Jim gasped and he was behind the counter in no time. 

Oswald felt strong arms around him, a warm body pressed against his and for a moment he felt safe, protected. But then he remembered who those arms belonged to. Jim wasn’t Edward, and Oswald didn’t want Jim anymore. Jim didn’t feel like home. 

“Let me go!” Oswald cried out and pushed Jim. It felt good, so when Jim tried to reach for him one more time, Oswald pushed him again. “Don’t touch me, Jim!”

“I’m only trying to help you, Oswald. You’re clearly upset and--”

“I  _ am  _ upset. But I  _ don’t  _ need  _ you!” _ Oswald said firmly. “I can deal with this on my own.”

“You don’t have to. I’m here for you.”

“You didn’t care how upset I was when you broke my heart, Jim. So you don’t get to be the one to comfort me anymore.” Oswald straightened his back and lifted his chin definitely. “We’re through! And we’re never getting back together! Deal with it.”

The lines of Jim’s face sharpened. “Oh really? And what are you going to do, Oswald? Be alone for the rest of your life? You and I both know how hard it is for you to be unloved. How sad those years before we met were for you. You really want to go back to that?” 

It hurt to hear this, especially because Oswald knew it was true. The loneliness was so hard to bear and Oswald needed affection. He knew Edward wasn’t coming back. He also knew he was not likely to fall in love again. He’d be alone, probably till his dying day. Going back to Jim was possibly Oswald’s last chance of having some kind of romantic tenderness in his life. Perhaps if he worked on it, if he swallowed the heartbreak and betrayal, he could love Jim again? He could forgive. 

But it wasn’t about Jim anymore. It wasn’t even about Ed. It was about Oswald and whether or not he believed  _ this  _ was all he deserved. Even if Ed never came back, would Oswald really be able to live with himself if he accepted this caricature of a relationship? Could he be content with something like that for the rest of his life? And for what? Fear of loneliness? Need for affection? Despite his flaws, Oswald deserved more than crumbs of leftover love. 

“Perhaps you’re right, Jim. Perhaps I’ll always be alone.” He chuckled. “But at least I’ll have my dignity. I’ll have myself. When push comes to shove, I’m the one to pick myself up, Jim. Not you. I’m the one who decides to accept help when it’s offered, I’m the one who decides to keep fighting, I’m the one who deals with my own feelings. And _I_ _don’t need you_. So yes, I will be alone. But I’ll be okay with that. I had a taste of real love.” His voice wavered a little, but he kept going. “A pure love with a brilliant, lovely man who truly cared about me. And I blew it. I lost him. I lost my chance with him. But I’d rather live with the memory of that love, than go back to you. And the fact that you think it can be so easy for me to forget how badly you hurt me only shows how little you respect my feelings.” He glared at Jim as he lifted his hand to point at the exit. “So there’s the door, Jim. It’s time you left my life for good.”

Jim exhaled. “Fine. You clearly need more time. I’ll come back later.” He turned around to head for the door and frowned. “Ed? What are you doing here?”

_ Ed?  _ Oswald’s heart skipped a beat. He turned around too and his eyes widened when he saw Edward standing there, tall and speechless. Oswald must’ve missed the bell chime in the heat of the conversation. He wondered how much of it Ed heard. 

“I…” Ed cleared his throat. “I’m here for some white lilies.”

Oswald let out a tiny gasp. White lilies? Was Edward aware of their meaning or was this merely a coincidence? 

“Now, I believe you heard the man, Jim,” Ed continued, taking a step towards the counter. “You’re not welcome here anymore.”

Jim looked between Oswald and Ed and his detective brain probably put two and two together because he pursed his lips into a tight, disapproving line. “I see. And you, I take it,  _ are  _ welcome.”

Ed smiled widely. “That’s none of your business anymore. Goodbye, Jim.”

Jim grunted and was about to say something to Oswald, but Oswald beat him to it. 

“Send my best to Barbara,” he said with a small, pleased smile of his own. He felt stronger now with Edward in the room. 

Irritated, Jim hastily left the flower shop, leaving Oswald and Ed alone.


	12. Chapter 12

As soon as the door was closed, Oswald’s surge of excitement quickly dissipated, replaced by a sudden feeling of dread. After three days and three nights of longing and torment, Edward was finally here, standing before Oswald, ready to talk. But what he had to say remained to be seen and Oswald couldn’t help the horrible fear that Edward was only here to end things from rising inside him. 

Both hopeful and fearful at the same time, he swallowed around the lump in his throat and smiled a sheepish, nervous smile. 

“I take it you’re not here for a bouquet?” he said, willing his voice to sound as steady as possible. 

Ed shook his head. “No.” 

Oswald exhaled. “It’s good to see you, Edward. I waited for your call.” 

“Yeah, I, umm. I thought it was better to do this face to face,” Edward replied. He looked awkward, like he wasn’t sure what to do exactly, even though he was the one initiating this.

“Oh, no, it’s perfectly fine!” Oswald was quick to assure. “I-- I’m happy to see you…” 

He was flustered, he could tell. And Ed probably noticed that too. He also most likely heard Oswald’s declaration a few moments ago. It was clear that he was talking about E. What must he think of it? Was he glad to know how deeply Oswald loved him, or was he disgusted or indifferent? 

Edward took a few steps around the shop, examining the plants, his long fingers gently brushing against random leaves as he admired them. 

“Thank you. For giving me time,” he said, still not looking at Oswald. 

“You asked me not to call before you do, so I didn’t,” Oswald replied. “It wasn’t easy. I really wanted to call you. I-- I missed you, Ed. So much…” 

Ed turned his back on him and Oswald trailed off, not sure if he wasn’t making things worse by telling Ed that. He reminded himself once again that Edward had asked for space. Oswald had to be careful not to seem too pushy. 

It took a long moment of silence before Ed finally turned around to face Oswald. “We both know why I’m here, Oswald. But before we continue, I need to ask a few questions. They may seem silly to you, but… they matter to me.” 

“Nothing that matters to you could seem silly to me, Ed,” Oswald said earnestly. “I need to close the shop for my lunch break anyway, so I’m all yours. For-- for the questions, I mean. Or we can go somewhere else?” 

Edward shook his head. “No, here is good. I timed my arrival especially so that we can do this in your break.” 

That was thoughtful of Ed. Still, it didn’t mean he was ready to take Oswald back. 

Oswald hurried to flip the closed sign on the door and lock it. “There. We’ll be undisturbed now. And I’m ready to answer any questions you may have.” 

They sat down on the small sofa among the flowers and Ed inhaled deeply. 

“Right. Here goes.” Ed was clenching his fists in his lap as if giving himself courage. Oswald realized this wasn’t easy for him either. “Why did you watch my videos, Oswald? How did it all start and why did you continue to watch them even after we met?” 

Oswald wanted to be completely honest with Ed, so he told him the truth. 

“I found your blog accidentally. I wasn’t with Jim at the time and I was browsing stuff online. I’m not even sure how your blog popped up, but I found the name amusing and I got curious. I admit I kept watching it because I thought you were tremendously hot. I mean, I’ve never been a fan of riddles, but I was mesmerized by you.” 

Ed did not seem flattered at that remark. His face was unreadable, but he did clear his throat. “And then?” 

“Then Jim and I started seeing each other and I stopped following your blog. Eventually, I forgot all about it until I met you at that gathering. I kept thinking that night that you reminded me of someone, that I’ve seen you before, but I couldn’t remember where or when. And then when you were making a toast it hit me. I knew where I saw you. So I looked up your blog again and it was still there, updated. I… I checked a few videos and it was all still just as unusual, funny and sexy as I remembered it.” 

“Then you came to me to ask me to spy on Jim.” 

Oswald nodded. “I did. I had a plan. If you refused to do it, I was going to threaten you that I’d tell people about your riddle blog.” 

Ed’s eyebrows shot up in surprise and that was the first time since Oswald started his story that Ed showed emotion. 

“You were going to threaten me?” he asked, wide-eyed. 

Oswald confirmed with a nod. “If I had to.” 

Ed inhaled and exhaled loudly. “Wow.” 

“I’m sorry. It was a backup plan and I was desperate. I needed to know if Jim--” 

“I get it,” Ed interrupted. Strangely enough, he did not seem mad about Oswald’s blackmail scheme. “What happened then?” 

“You and I became friends. Jim broke my heart and I was a mess.” Oswald looked Ed in the eyes. “You pulled me out of that black hole I was in. You helped me move on from Jim and you helped me heal from the damage he’d done. You became my best friend, my most trusted person in the world. I loved spending time with you and when you were busy or it was too late to text you, I’d turn on your videos. I watched them just to feel close to you. It wasn’t sexual anymore, not then. It was just… I don’t know, I liked hearing your voice and it was curious for me to see you like that, as Riddler. You were like a mystery to me, a puzzle. The shy, sweet boy I met was secretly a very sexy, seductive and gorgeous man. It was a riddle in itself, how you could be both things with such ease. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. And I was excited that my best friend was such an interesting person.” 

Ed lowered his gaze to his lap where his hands rested. “And then?” 

“Then I slowly came to the realization that I care about you more than I thought I did. It scared me at first. I didn’t think I was ready for love so soon after having my heart broken. I was afraid that it might be my loneliness clouding my judgement. Or perhaps only a physical attraction. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, so I didn’t mention it to you. I wanted to wait until I was sure of my feelings.” 

“And were you? Sure, I mean,” Ed asked quietly. 

Oswald bit his lip to stop himself from tearing up. “I was. I am,” he confessed. “It wasn’t only physical attraction. I wasn’t confused. It was love. It still is love.” He exhaled shakily and continued. “I realized I was in love with you, Ed, and I wanted to tell you at once. But I was so scared. Every time I tried telling you, I ended up doing something stupid. That night we first slept together, I had a romantic evening planned. I was going to confess my feelings for you, but as you know, I freaked out and--” 

“It was still a lovely evening,” Ed said, a small smile gracing his face as he blushed a little. It was adorable and it warmed Oswald’s heart. 

“Yes,” he smiled too. “Yes, it really was.” 

Ed cleared his throat, remembering why he was here. “Then what happened?” 

“I saw your announcement. On the blog. You decided to stop making videos for a while. I thought it was probably because of me and our relationship, and I knew I had to talk to you about it. I wanted to say that you didn’t need to give up something that’s important to you for me. But I couldn’t figure out a way to start this conversation. I wasn’t sure how to explain why I hadn’t mentioned anything about your blog earlier. So I kept putting it off until…” 

Ed hummed. “Until I brought it up and we had our fight.” 

Oswald nodded. “Yes.” 

Edward was quiet for a moment. “Shall I tell you my story, then?” he asked, eyes meeting Oswald’s. “Unedited, from start to finish?” 

“If you want to…” 

“I need to.” He inhaled deeply and began. “I’ve always been alone. I was a disappointment to my father and a nuisance to my mother. She neglected me as much as she could and he… well, you already know about that. He was abusive. Mostly verbally and emotionally, but on occasion physically as well.” 

Oswald remembered the story about Foxy the rat. It broke his heart all over again to be reminded of Edward’s unhappy childhood. He reached for Ed to reassure him, but his hand froze midair. Ed hadn’t said it was okay for Oswald to hold him yet. So Oswald kept his hands to himself and listened to what Ed had to say. 

“I had no friends,” Ed continued. “I was a strange boy, as you can guess. People thought I was odd, a know-it-all, a weirdo, unnormal. My father hated that about me because his son wasn’t supposed to be like that. Others made fun of me and all I ever wanted was to have a friend. A friend to do stuff with, a friend to share secrets with, a friend to be there for me. I had no one like that in my life. Eventually, my mental health started to suffer. Things got worse. I would start shaking for no reason, I would get panic attacks, PTSD, dissociative episodes, severe depression. I was a mess, but nobody cared. I had no one to go to. I tried the School Psychologist once and she told me about these coping mechanisms to help me when I start dissociating. Little tricks to keep me grounded. She said I should try and see which ones worked best for me. Turned out brain teasers and riddles worked for me. Riddles brought me back during my dissociative episodes and my panic attacks, so I clung to them as hard as I could. I visited the School Psychologist again and for the first time in a long time I felt hopeful that I might get better. With her help. But then my parents found out that I went to her and, needless to say, my father hated it.  _ ‘No son of mine needs therapy!’ _ ” Ed imitated his father’s voice. _ “‘We don’t want everyone to know how crazy you are, Edward. You’re already too weird, we don’t need a head doctor on top of it.’”  _ Ed paused. Oswald gave him the time he needed. “He beat me up pretty bad that evening. I had to miss school for three days after that. He told me he’d do worse if I kept going to the psychologist’s office, so I never did again. Luckily, he couldn’t take away the things she’d already told me. The coping mechanism. My riddles. I’ve always liked riddles, but after that day I became obsessed with them. I gathered as many as I could and then I started coming up with my own. Every time I had an episode, I’d start telling myself riddles and they would calm me down, bring me back to the present moment.” 

“I never realized what deep meaning riddles had for you. That they were so much more than a hobby,” Oswald uttered, touched by Ed’s revelation. 

“Yes, well,” Ed chuckled self-consciously. “I didn’t exactly advertise it. I didn’t want you to think I’m insane.” 

“You’re not insane, Ed,” Oswald said gently. 

Ed licked his lips and continued. “I left home as soon as I could and I never looked back. I came to Gotham, I changed my name from Nashton to Nygma, and I started a new job at the GCPD. It was my fresh start. I had dreamed of it so often while growing up. I had such hopes that my life here would be different. But it wasn’t, really. Slightly better than when I was a boy, yes. But I was still friendless and lonely. I was still poor, weird, little Ed with his little silly word play and his little riddles. I was beginning to see myself through other people’s eyes and it was very unflattering. I needed to change that because I was beginning to hate myself. So I started a blog. I didn’t think anyone would see it, but at the same time posting those videos gave me some sort of strange sense of control over my life and my self-image. I don’t know if it makes sense, but it’s how I felt.” 

Oswald nodded silently. It did make sense. 

“I used riddles because they calmed me down when I was nervous. And trust me, I was  _ very _ nervous. I was a virgin. I hadn’t even kissed a person before. Yet here I was, making sex videos of myself and posting them online! It was crazy,” he shook his head with a chuckle and bit his lip, sucking in a sharp breath. “Once a guy in the comments asked me why all the riddles. I didn’t want to tell him the truth, that I needed them to calm me down, that they’ve turned into a sort of compulsion for me over the years. So I thought about it and I came up with a hypothesis. That riddles could work as an aphrodisiac. So I explained that in my next video and then I dedicated the blog to it. It’s a legitimate theory. After all, riddles are words and words can be arousing. Sometimes even more arousing than visuals. Don’t you think?”

It was not a rhetorical question. “Yes, definitely,” Oswald was quick to reply. He definitely agreed with Ed on that. 

“So the blog evolved into a scientific research of sorts. At least, so I told myself. But the truth is, I just like it. I like doing this, I like being watched. I like knowing that I have control, and I can make someone want me. I didn’t feel like poor, weird, little Ed when I was Riddler. I didn’t feel helpless or silly. So I kept going.” 

The blog meant so much to Ed and Ed’s mental health. Yet he had given that up for Oswald. 

“Of course, I didn’t want anyone at work to know about it,” Ed went on. “While it felt empowering for me personally, I knew it would only make others laugh at me more. I was appreciated by a small group of people online, but if my coworkers knew about my blog, they’d only ridicule me more. So, you see, your threat of telling them would’ve been effective,” he smirked a little. “I would’ve done anything to keep you quiet.” 

Oswald arched an eyebrow. There was strange energy in Edward’s words as he said that and Oswald was curious to examine it further. But that had to wait for now.

“Then I met you. And I was smitten with you since the very start,” Edward said, smiling. “You looked so confident and in control, so clever and exciting! Funny and fascinating! I was instantly drawn to you. You were everything I wished I could be. And I admired you for it. I was hoping to see you again, but I knew you were Jim Gordon’s boyfriend, so I had to stay away. And then, the unimaginable happened! You came to me, asking for my help! I knew then and there that I’d do anything for you. So I agreed. Spying on Gordon was like our little secret. I was alone no more. I had a friend to do stuff with and it was exciting! It was also an opportunity to get to know you better, to befriend you. And the closer we became, the more fascinated I was with you. It grew into something more tender.” Their eyes met and Oswald’s breath hitched. “I fell in love with you, Oswald,” Ed said. “But you were Jim’s. And then you weren’t. The man I loved was single and all I had to do was make a move. If only I could make a move… I didn’t. It was the wrong time. You were emotionally unavailable and I didn’t want to take advantage of your heartbreak. I didn’t want to be your rebound. I wanted to be your forever. So I kept my feelings to myself, secretly indulging in fantasies of you and me together, as a couple.” He snorted. “I even called your name in one of my videos by accident. It was-- I slipped. I was imagining you as I touched myself and when I climaxed, I just…” He trailed off. “Sorry. That might be inappropriate of me to say.” 

“No, not at all!” Oswald croaked. “I mean, nothing should be too inappropriate to share between you and me. Please, feel free to tell me anything.” 

Ed smiled softly. “That’s how I believe it should be in a loving relationship. A truly safe space.” 

“And since we’re sharing…” Oswald said, shifting in his seat a little. “I actually saw that video. It nearly blew my mind to think that you were attracted to me. And it made me wonder if you could actually have feelings for me. Especially since you called me your boyfriend in the comments.” 

Ed laughed and covered his face with his hands, embarrassed. “I did! Oh, God!” He looked back at Oswald, still smiling. “I said that because it felt so good to imagine, to pretend that what I wanted was real.” 

Oswald melted into a smile too. “I understand that so well.” 

“Then I hope you also understand why I got so upset that night.” 

“I should’ve told you I knew about the blog, I’m sorry--” 

Ed held out his hand. “It’s not just that you didn’t tell me,” he said. “It’s because I--” he hesitated and Oswald reached out to hold his hand. 

“You can tell me anything, Ed,” he reassured. 

Ed sighed. “I was afraid that  _ that  _ was the only reason you were interested in me. That you only fell for me because of the sex videos.”

“Ed, that’s not true,” Oswald reassured. 

“Yes, I know that now after listening to your story. But then, when you said you’ve seen the videos and kept watching them, I just-- I couldn’t help it. I thought you didn’t like me. Like everyone else who never liked me. And that you only wanted this other side of me. And don’t get me wrong, Riddler is a part of me too, but… that’s not  _ all  _ of me.” He grimaced. “I don’t know if this makes sense at all.” 

“It does,” Oswald said firmly. Then he pressed Ed’s hand to his heart and looked him in the eyes. “Edward Nygma, listen to me carefully. I love you for the man that you are. I love your brilliant mind, your dorky jokes, your excitement, your passion, your interests, your talent, your beauty,  _ your cooking _ ,” he winked and Ed chuckled. “I love you with your flaws,” Oswald continued. “I love the nervous, jittery dork that you are and I love the gorgeous, flamboyant riddle-god that you can often be. I love all of it, Ed! And…” his voice wavered a little, but he quickly steadied it, “... if you permit me, I’d love to spend the rest of our lives loving all of you.” 

Ed held his breath for a moment and Oswald’s heart skipped a beat. 

“Oswald…,” Ed whispered. “You mean that?” 

“Every word.” 

Ed chuckled breathlessly. He was so flustered. “I feel the same,” he said. “What are we gonna do, then?” 

Oswald melted into a wide, happy smile. “I think we can start with this.” 

He let go of Ed’s hand and went to where the white lilies were growing. He took a whole pot and placed it on the counter where he added two beautiful ribbons -- one purple, the other one green. Then, when it was all arranged elegantly, he returned to Ed and offered them to him like a gift. 

“I don't have the heart to pluck them,” he said. “And I don’t want to give you flowers that will die in a few days. So I want you to have these.” 

“They’re beautiful!” Edward gasped, taking the pot and holding it close to his chest. 

Oswald smiled. “I love you, Edward.” 

Ed grinned. “Did you know that white lilies symbolize pure love?” 

Oswald chuckled fondly. “I work at a flower shop, Ed, and you’ve met my mother. I know what white lilies symbolize.” He leaned in to rest his forehead against Ed’s. “But it’s _ so good _ to have you here with me to tell me anyway.” 


	13. Chapter 13

Edward put on the T-shirt he usually slept in and started drying his freshly washed hair with a towel. Feeling refreshed after his shower, he smiled and rejoined Oswald who was relaxing in bed with his laptop.

“Oswald, do you think we could--” he started, putting the towel away, but he was interrupted by a loud moan coming from the speakers of Oswald’s device. 

“Mmm.” Edward recognized his own voice and gaped a little. The video went on. “I start with a “p” and end with “o-r-n,” and I’m a major player in the film industry. What am I?”

Ed closed his eyes in feigned exasperation and Oswald giggled at his reaction. 

“Really, Oswald?” He arched an eyebrow. 

“Shhh, here comes my favorite part!” Oswald winked. 

“The answer’s popcorn, Oswald,” Ed rolled his eyes, amused. 

“I know that,” Oswald snorted. “I’ve seen this video enough times to know it by heart.” 

“My boyfriend is a pervert,” Ed sighed dramatically and flopped on the bed beside Oswald. 

“Said my porn-star boyfriend,” Oswald teased back. 

Ed’s cheeks heated up. “I’m hardly a star…” 

Oswald smiled warmly and pulled him into a gentle kiss that made Edward’s heart beat faster. “You’re perfect, Ed. I love you so much.” 

“It’s impossible for something or someone to be perfect. There are always flaws--” Ed muttered, flustered and unable to process all his emotions at once. 

Oswald’s smile only grew wider. “You’re a perfect combination of flaws and virtues,” he said. “Is that better?” 

Ed chuckled fondly and kissed Oswald back, smiling against the other man’s lips. 

“It is,” he replied. 

He opened his eyes again when Oswald pulled away to continue watching his video. 

“You know, you have the real thing right here,” Ed said, matter-of-factly. “You don’t need this.” He slowly closed the lid of the laptop, holding Oswald’s gaze and enjoying the way the other man’s pupils dilated. 

They let the laptop slide off, forgotten in one of the corners of the bed as Ed straddled Oswald and ran his hands over his chest. Oswald sighed at the touch, leaning up to chase Edward’s lips for more kisses. 

“If you like my riddles so much,” Edward said, voice low and seductive, “I have another one for you.” 

Oswald’s lips parted as he looked up at Ed with wide eyes. The utterly open and adoring expression on his face made Ed’s heart skip a beat. He felt extremely sexy all the sudden. He hardly ever felt that way when he wasn’t in front of his camera, but here, with Oswald, he found his confidence. It felt good to be this loved and admired by someone Ed himself loved and admired just as deeply. He never thought he could have this in his life, but here they were now, together again, solid. Edward had been so afraid that Oswald would find his little hobby repulsive. Then, when Oswald confessed he knew about it all along, Edward was even more terrified that their entire relationship was nothing but a joke to Oswald. Or perhaps a bit of fun with someone who supposedly had no restrains about sex. 

But when he thought back to the way Oswald treated him, it didn’t feel like he’d looked down on Ed or not taken him seriously because of his side activities. In fact, it seemed like Oswald was genuinely hurt to lose Ed which made no sense. So Edward decided to go to Oswald’s shop and hear him out. It was a decision he did not regret! He was so profoundly happy when he learned the truth -- that Oswald loved him and respected him, that he supported him. Ed no longer had to worry about his more dorky sides, or his darker sides. All those strange little quirks of his that others found weird, odd and unappealing, he didn’t have to worry about them anymore. With Oswald Edward could just be himself. Oswald not only tolerated his oddities, he found them charming and attractive! Edward felt like the luckiest man alive! True love was so rare and not only did he find his, but Oswald reciprocated. What could possibly be better than that? 

He rolled his hips, grinding against Oswald’s crotch and asked his new riddle.

_ “All day long it’s in and out. In and out.”  _ He emphasized his words with the movements of his hips. Oswald let out a strangled little whine as his cock began to harden. Ed smirked.  _ “I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?”  _

Oswald was too far gone for proper upper brain function. All he could do was look hungrily at Ed and breathe heavily. 

“Oswald! What am I?” Ed prompted, enjoying how affected Oswald already was. 

“You’re, ummm… You’re a… Mgh…” Oswald bucked his hips up, needing more friction. 

Edward grinned and spread his palms over Oswald’s chest. “Come on, Ozzy. I’m waiting for the answer to my riddle.” 

“You’re a--” Oswald kept struggling to concentrate on anything but Edward’s movements on top of him. “Oh God, Riddler!” 

Edward smirked to himself. How long had Oswald wanted to use that name with him in bed? 

“You’re… ummm…” 

Oswald was clearly not getting anywhere with the riddle. Edward suddenly stilled.

“Perhaps I’m distracting you too much,” he said innocently. “Perhaps I should stop and let you think.” 

“No!” Oswald gasped, hands quickly gripping Ed’s hips to keep him from getting off his lap. “Please, don’t stop…” he pleaded. “I’ll think about the riddle. I promise.” 

Edward’s lips spread into a wide smile and he leaned down to meet Oswald’s lips. “You have a second chance, then,” he whispered into the other man’s mouth. “What.” A kiss. “Am.” Another kiss. “I.” 

He straightened up a little, propping himself on his hands to get more leverage to circle his hips, grinding down Oswald’s now fully erect cock and enjoying the way Oswald trembled and moaned underneath him. He sped up his pace to drive his partner crazy with desire and just when he could tell Oswald was enjoying himself a little too much, he slowed down again. 

“No, you’re too distracted,” he teased. 

“Elevator!” Oswald cried out loudly. “You’re an elevator…” 

Edward bit back his smirk. 

“Well?” Oswald asked breathlessly, eyes wide, yearning, and pleading. “How did I do?” 

Ed let his smile show. “Your answer is…” He was sure Oswald could actually hear drum roll at this moment, at least it seemed so from the look on his face. “Correct,” Ed announced and Oswald exhaled in relief. “I guess you deserve a reward, don’t you?” 

Oswald swallowed and nodded eagerly. 

“I know just the thing.” With a predatory look on his face, Edward slowly slid down Oswald’s body, his clever, teasing fingers brushing against Oswald’s skin as he carefully undressed him. Oswald was already so hard, it was probably painful. He must’ve missed Ed a lot during those three days they spent apart, not knowing if Edward was coming back at all. Had he spent that time looking at Ed’s videos or had he deprived himself of that pleasure because of how bad he felt about what happened? Edward made a mental note to himself to ask him later. He wanted to erase those painful memories from Oswald’s mind and replace them with happy ones. 

He freed Oswald’s cock from the restrains of his pants and teasingly licked the tip, only getting a taste of what was to come. Oswald gasped and threw his head back, his hips bucking up on their own volition. 

“Shit!” he hissed, instantly looking down at Ed with concern. “I’m sorry…” 

Edward smiled. “Shhh, it’s okay,” he said comfortingly. “This is my treat.” 

And a treat it was. For both of them. They hadn’t tried this before and Edward was rather eager to treat both Oswald and himself. He wasn’t sure if he’d be any good at it, but he was confident that his knowledge in anatomy would come in handy in this situation. Surely he could figure out how to implement it here and give Oswald a blowjob that would blow his mind. And judging by Oswald’s response, he succeeded. 

~*~ 

“Had I known, I would have said  _ no _ ,” Gertrud told Ed, wringing her hands worriedly and frowning. “Ms. Kean coming to me and saying this is the father of the baby, and I see Jim in front of me. But I gave him a piece of my mind. Told him what I think of him. He’s no good for my Oswald.” She sighed again. “I should’ve said no to Barbara… But she is such sweet girl. And pregnant too. And her girlfriend is so caring, always there to take care of her Babs. I liked them. I wanted to make baby shower special for them.” 

“It’s alright, I assure you,” Edward said with a gentle smile. “Oswald is over this whole Jim Gordon thing. He’ll be alright.” 

“My boy always says  _ it’s alright, it’s alright,  _ but he just keeps his worries to himself. Doesn’t want to upset me. So he quietly carries his burden in his heart.” She shook her head sadly. “But a mother feels these things. You don’t know how fond he was of this policeman, how broken he was after they break up.” She looked so sad, Ed wanted to comfort her, but before he could utter a word, Gertrud let out a small, startled gasp. “Not that he isn’t fond of you, my boy,” she smiled, reaching for his hand. “I know he is. But there’s so much history with James Gordon. It worries me. What if he sees Jim and goes sad again.” She pouted, biting at her nails anxiously. 

Edward took her hand in his, the way she had a moment ago. “I promise you, he doesn’t care about Jim Gordon anymore. I’m sure of it. Oswald and I… we’re in love.” He smiled as the words left his lips. It felt so profoundly wonderful to say that and to know it to be true. Edward wanted to shout it from the top of the world for everyone to hear and know that he and Oswald belonged together. “We love each other,” he repeated with a wide grin. “Oswald put Gordon behind him. All that is in his past. And I’m Oswald’s future.” 

Gertrud was looking at him strangely. It took a few seconds before she snapped out of her thoughts. Then she melted into a smile, cupping his cheeks like a loving mother would. “I knew my boy will find someone really special!” she said, genuinely moved. “And I am so very glad!” 

She pulled Ed’s down to leave two big kisses on both his cheeks and Edward’s heart filled with warm affection. So this was what a mother’s love really felt like. 

~*~ 

Edward told Gertrud that she shouldn’t be concerned about James Gordon, but the truth was, he himself was a little nervous. He didn’t doubt that Oswald loved him, that much was certain as the sun rising in the East. But he knew Oswald was a very emotional person and frankly Edward was worried that Jim could upset him again. The detective had the irritating ability to cast a shadow over Oswald’s happiness. Ed didn’t want that. 

“You sure you want to attend Barbara Kean’s baby shower?” he asked that evening as he slipped into bed with Oswald. Oswald was reading peacefully on what was now his side, unsuspecting of Edward’s internal disquiet. “I mean, I know she invited you, but you don’t really have to go, do you?” 

“I don’t  _ have to _ ,” Oswald replied, putting his book away. “But I want to. These last couple of days Barbara and I sort of… I dunno, we befriended one another, I guess. She’s pretty nice.” 

Edward’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Pretty nice?” he repeated. 

Oswald chuckled. “Why are you so surprised? Just because she made the mistake of sleeping with Jim, doesn’t mean she’s the Wicked Witch of the West.” 

“Not the word I would’ve used,” Ed said, trying not to rejoice too visibly in hearing Oswald call Jim Gordon “a mistake”. 

“How would you describe Barbara, then?” Oswald asked curiously, tilting his head. 

“Oh, I don’t know. The Wicked Bitch of the West?”

Oswald snorted, shaking his head. “Very clever, Ed. But really, Barbara is fun. You just don’t know her yet. You’d like her more once you two get to know each other more.”

Edward doubted that. “Are you friends with Barbara to get revenge on Jim? Is that it?”

Oswald gave him a look. “No. That is  _ not  _ what I’m doing. Not every decision in my life revolves around Jim Gordon, y’know.”

Ed sighed. “I know. I’m sorry. It’s just… You have to admit it  _ is  _ surprising that you two would start getting along so well.” 

Oswald narrowed his eyes at Ed, examining his face carefully. “Edward, why do you ask all that? Are you jealous?” 

Edward gasped, his jaw hanging open at this unfair accusation. “What? Me jealous? No! Not at all. Not in the least. Definitely not. No.”

In retrospect, perhaps he used one too many  _ no’s  _ to make it believable. 

An amused chuckle escaped through Oswald’s lips. He slowly ran his fingers through Ed’s hair and Ed could purr at the lovely feeling of Oswald’s touch, if he weren’t too preoccupied with what Oswald was about to tell him. 

“You  _ are  _ jealous,” Oswald grinned. He was enjoying this a little too much. “Of Jim Gordon, no less.” A small giggle, then another tender smile. “Oh, Eddie. Don’t you get it? You’re smart, clever, intelligent, interesting, adorable, sexy, hot, gorgeous, amazing in bed… Need I go on? You’re brilliant! Honestly, I’ve no idea how nobody’s snatched you yet! I mean, you’re so much more attractive than me--” 

“That’s not true,” Ed insisted with passion. To him, Oswald was the most attractive man in the world. Any claim to the opposite sounded insane and unfounded. 

Oswald smiled. “Well, you’re a little biased on that matter, my dear, but thank you. The point is,” he cupped Ed’s cheek lovingly and looked him in the eyes. “I love you. Jim had this special place in my heart before, but he lost it when he betrayed and hurt me. Now he’s only a memory. And not a very good one, at that.” 

Edward felt some of his anxiety melting away. Oswald had that effect on him, it was remarkable. 

“Now. If me attending that baby shower really upsets you this much, I won’t go. But I assure you, I’m _ so  _ over James Gordon.” 

“I just don’t want him to hurt you again. Or to get you upset…” Ed confessed. 

Oswald placed a kiss to Edward’s forehead. “He can no longer do that, Ed. He has no hold over me. There’s nothing he can say that could upset me. I don’t care what he thinks of me anymore. I’m… I’m free.” 

Edward looked back at the whole Jim Gordon story and he realized Oswald had a point. He really was done with Gordon and if so, then Gordon really couldn’t hurt him anymore. Edward had nothing to worry about. Like Ed told Gertrud, Jim was in the past. 

“I’m… really happy about that,” Edward said. “I hated seeing you suffer. And I felt so helpless because I knew I couldn’t make it go away, no matter how hard I wanted to.”

“You made it all better, though,” Oswald smiled. 

Edward did too. “Of course, you can go to the shower, Oswald. Barbara’s your friend. And it’s not my place to stop you. You are not my possession.” 

“Well,” Oswald gave a clever smirk, “you have my heart, so I don’t know about that.” 

Ed blushed, biting back his wide grin. He loved it when Oswald was being casually romantic. He could say all those lovely lines and make even the cheesier ones sound so genuine and beautiful. 

“Besides,” Oswald continued, opening his book again. “You’re coming with me.”

“What?” 

“Barbara invited me with my plus one,” Oswald smiled. “So I’m taking you.” 

“Oswald… I don’t know if baby showers are my thing,” Ed mumbled awkwardly. 

Oswald only shrugged. “Hey, you never know. Sometimes happiness comes from the most unexpected places.” 

Edward gave that some thought. “You mean like dirty riddle blogs?” he teased. 

“Perhaps,” Oswald winked. 

Edward bit back his own grin and snuggled closer to Oswald. “Tell me about the flowers for Barbara’s shower.” 

“Well,” Oswald began, wrapping an arm around Ed. “It’s meant to look like a beautiful floral fairy tale. Mother and I worked really hard on the arrangement and it paid off. It’s one of our best designs and we both love it. Barbara is very pleased with it too. She says it would suit her daughter perfectly. Did I tell you? She’s having a girl. She thinks of naming her Barbara, after herself. Kind of narcissistic, if you ask me, but who am I to judge? She says it’s the perfect name because…” 

Edward watched Oswald talk and a soft smile graced his face. He blinked slowly, like a cat in the sun. It was these small moments that gave his life a meaning. Snuggling with Oswald, listening to his stories, sharing his life with him. The way Oswald’s head leaned in to rest against his. The way his hand was stroking Edward’s arm without even registering it. All those things were the epitome of everything Edward ever dreamed of and thought he could never have. Oswald was the answer to Ed’s riddles. He was the man Edward wanted to spend the rest of his life with. And when he looked into Oswald’s eyes, he knew better than ever that his beloved felt the same. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of this story :) I hope you all enjoyed it! Thank you so much for reading, commenting and giving kudos! It means the world to me :) 
> 
> P. S. I can't take credit for the riddles in this story. Most of them were taken from the Internet :D

**Author's Note:**

> The title of this fic was [PenguinIsMyKing](https://twitter.com/penguinismyking)'s idea and I loved it so much, I had to use it :D   
> I hope you all enjoy this story :)


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